


Blast from the Past

by quixotic_dreamer



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:50:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quixotic_dreamer/pseuds/quixotic_dreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashley and Brian had dated for a long time but when Brian and some friends got their own television show Ashley couldn't deal with the pressure and broke things off. </p>
<p>A year has passed and even though Ashley is seeing someone new, old feelings start to make themselves known.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As I looked down at the invite in front of me I wished I could go but I just couldn’t. It was an invite to the wedding of one of my oldest friends, Joe, to a woman called Bessy. Normally I would jump at the idea of a party but it would undoubtedly mean bumping into my ex Brian and I couldn’t risk it.   
My mind raced back over everything that had happened and I hurriedly ticked the box stating that I couldn’t attend and sealed the envelope before I had chance to question myself. 

We had become friends at school, me, Brian and a group of others. Brian and I had always been closer than the others and eventually our friendship had blossomed into love and we ended up moving in together. Through all this Brian, Joe and 2 others, James and Sal, had formed a comedy troupe and started touring the local comedy clubs as The Tenderloins.

It was hard work but they loved it and in the end all of this hard work payed off when after a couple of years they were offered their own television show. This is where things had started to go downhill. We ended up having to spend a lot of time apart and all of sudden there was all this attention focused on the 4 of them all the time. I guess I was scared of being left behind. I worked in public relations and knew that while it was hard enough to keep a relationship going normally, fame changed things and made it damn near impossible to maintain a normal relationship.

We had started to argue all the time and while I never stopped loving him I started to drive him away. He tried all he could to make things better but things came to a head one night when we were out at a club and I caught him kissing someone else. I used this as my excuse to leave and packed up my things and left that very same night.

He had promised me that it meant nothing, that she had come on to him and while I believed him, the damage was done and I knew this was my chance to leave with my head held high. I walked away and had started afresh. I had moved to another part of the city and had thrown myself into a new job. I had made my friends and family promise not to tell any of them where I was now and surprisingly I had managed not to see the 4 of them since. 

I had never really recovered and even a year later I still thought about him and the guys all of the time. While I had been determined not to let anyone close after that so I could focus on my work, I had recently started seeing a guy from work.  
I posted the envelope off on my way into work the next day and put it out of my head. Part of me would love to be there but even after a year apart it still all felt too raw. 

I managed to put it out of my mind and the next week flew by, work being particular busy as it was approaching awards season. I was at my mother’s house having our weekly get together dinner with my 2 brothers when my mum surprised me.

“A letter came for you today Ashley.” She told me, pushing an envelope over the table towards me. 

I picked it up and saw that it had obviously been hand delivered as it had my name scrawled across it and no return address or post mark. I reached for a piece of garlic bread whilst I ripped open the top and opened it and immediately recognised the untidy handwriting. 

The guys and me had forever been writing notes to each other in class so I knew all their handwriting as well as I knew my own. 

‘I got your RSVP. It would mean the world to have you there. Please call me. Joey.’ There was a number scrawled beneath the words.

I shook my head and looked up to see that my mom and brothers all watching me intently. 

“I can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to go Ash.” My eldest brother Julian announced, his mouth full of food.

I turned to my mum for support and was relieved when she opened her mouth to speak.

“Your brother is right Ashley, it has been a long time.” She said, surprising me by taking his side. “You should go.”

“Joe seemed really upset that you didn’t want to.” Julian added. 

I shook my head, knowing that their ganging up on me would eventually make me cave in. It always did.

“I’ll be there.” My younger brother Damon told me with a grin before I had chance to reply. “So you won’t have to go on your own.”

Damon had become really good friends with Joe’s younger brother at school and I knew that they were still pretty close. 

“I wouldn’t be alone.” I reminded them, attempting to keep the frustration out of my voice. “I'm seeing someone remember.” 

I had been seeing a guy from work, Jake, for a couple of weeks and while it was not serious at the minute I thought that maybe there could be a future there. 

“Still seeing that Jake guy then?” Julian said, the derision clear in his voice.

My family had loved Brian and had treated him like one of their own. They still believed that we should be together and it had hit them all hard when things had gone south. 

“Yes, I am still seeing him.” I ground out. “And I would appreciate if you all gave him a chance.”

I looked up to see them all look away, my mother sharing a sad smile with the two of them.

 

This is how, a month and a half later I was sat in the back of a cab with Jake, Damon and his date for the night on the way to an exclusive hotel on the outskirts of the city. 

“You look incredible.” Jake told me reaching down to squeeze my upper thigh gently.

I attempted a smile but knew that it didn’t meet my eyes. How could it? I was just about to see Brian again and even after a year the mere thought of seeing him again was enough to send me into a full blown panic attack. 

Looking down at my outfit I figured that even if inside I was freaking out, on the outside at least I looked better than ever. I had had my blonde hair cut so that it fell artfully around my face, resting just above my shoulders and I had done my make up so that my eyes were heavily outlined and my lips were blood red. The black designer dress had cost more than I usually spent on clothes, or rent for that matter, but the black material clung to my curves and showed just the right amount of flesh without crossing the line and becoming trashy. My high heels were by no means comfortable but Brian was tall and I didn’t want him towering over me more than absolutely necessary when I undoubtedly ran into him. A black clutch bag and a simple diamond pendant completed my look.

Pulling me out of my thoughts I heard the cab driver tell us the fare and vaguely saw Damon handing over some money as I looked up at the entrance of the venue.   
I had talked Damon out of going to the ceremony and said that it would be better if we just attended the reception. Luckily he had agreed and I had been able to drink a couple of glasses of wine before we left to give me some Dutch courage.

“Ready?” Jake asked me, climbing out of the cab and offering me his hand. 

I smiled up at him and put my hand in his as we walked towards the doors, which were being guarded by a couple of burly security guards. We gave our names and were checked off the list and walked in, heading towards one of the rooms off of the main hall towards the back of the room. 

As we walked into the expansively decorated ballroom I fought the urge to look for Brian but needn’t have worried as we had only been in the room about 10 seconds when I heard a familiar voice call my name and distract me.

“Ash!” Joe called, walking towards me. 

I looked at him in his tux and couldn’t help but smile. The goofy guy from high school was long gone, the man who stood in front of me was confident and dashing, not to mention beaming with pride, pulling his beautiful bride along with him as he headed over to us.

I let him pull me into a warm embrace and was struck by a pang of longing as I realised how much I had missed them all.

“Congratulations Joe.” I grinned, fighting tears. “I’m so happy for you. This must be Bessy.”

Surprising me, she offered me a warm smile and leaned in so that I could give her a brief hug. “It’s so nice to meet you Ashley.” She told me warmly. “I’ve heard so much about you. Thanks for coming.”

I found myself grinning back at her and was just about to say something back when I sensed that someone was watching me. I knew straight away that it was Brian. After all this time it was as if my body was still attuned to his and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to turn and look, to meet his eyes for the first time in a year.

We stood talking for a few minutes but Joe and his new wife were soon swept away by more guests so I took a hold of Jake’s hand and pulled him towards the bar.   
“I don’t believe that you never mentioned that you know the Impractical Jokers.” Jake said incredulously as we walked to get drinks. 

“We are old friends.” I muttered as we reached the bar and I was able to gratefully pick up a glass of champagne. I could still feel eyes on my back and was determined not to look as I tried to put off the inevitable for as long as possible. 

Just then, once again distracting me from my thoughts, I felt two hands snake over my eyes and another familiar voice lean into my ear. 

“Guess who?” 

I spun around and saw that Sal looked just as dashing in his tux as Joe had and was standing next to James, who now went by the nickname Murr. I didn’t have time to notice anything else before they swept me up into a hug and sandwiched me between the both of them.

“We’ve missed you Ash.” Sal told me as they let me go.

“It’s been too long.” Murr added giving me a look. 

I looked at Jake standing next to me to see that he was slightly shocked, his mouth hanging open and his arm frozen half way to the bar as he had just been about to pick up a glass of wine. 

“Uh, guys…” I told Sal and Murr. “This is Jake. My date.” 

Jake recovered his composure and reached out a hand which the two of them shook before sharing a look. 

“Date huh?” Sal said curiously. “How long you guys been together?” 

Jake beamed and placed an arm around my shoulders. “Not long, we work together.” He told them proudly. “Ashley here is our number 1 PR girl.”

I watched as Sal and Murr shared another look and sensed rather than saw that it was because Brian had appeared next to us. I turned to look at him just as he started to speak.

“I always knew that Ashley here would make something of herself.” He said wryly, his smile not meeting his eyes. “Not bad for a geeky girl from Long island.”

I tried not to look at him but it was as if some unknown force was controlling my body and pulling my face up so that I had to meet his eyes.

Our eyes locked for the first time in over a year and I felt my heart to pound. 

He had recently had his hair cut so that it was on the shorter scale of what I was used to and he had trimmed his beard into some semblance of order. He was wearing a black tux like the rest of them and I scanned his body, seeing that he had lost a bit of weight since I had last seen him and was even taller than I had remembered. My arms itched to reach out and run my hand over the hair on his face that I know would be surprisingly soft and I cursed myself for coming here. 

“Hi Quinn.” I greeted, trying to keep my voice from shaking. 

“Ashley.” He replied staring me dead in the eyes.

I realised that you could cut the tension between us with a knife so did what I always did when things got tough… I ran.

“I need to use the ladies room.” I mumbled and before anyone had chance to say anything I crossed the room and headed towards the bathroom.

The bathrooms were down a small corridor and I saw that there were several couches against the wall so I sunk into one gratefully and put my head in my hands, attempting to get my racing heartbeat under control.

It was less than a minute later when once again I felt someone watching me. I knew straight away that it was Brian, I would know that cologne anywhere, after all, I was the one that used to buy it for him.

Bracing myself, I raised my head to see him lounging against the wall opposite me.

“It’s been a long time.” He said, his eyes locking onto mine.

I forced a smile and nodded, not knowing what to say.

“I’ve missed you.” He continued. “You look amazing.”

The smile dropped off my face as he came to sit beside me and my body instinctively tilted so that I was facing him.

“You look good too, Brian.” I admitted. “Congratulations on the show and the success.”

My heart started to pound again, having him in such close proximity so before I knew what I was doing I stood up and turned to face him.

“I need to get back to my date.” I told him, walking away before I could change my mind. I heard him sigh deeply behind me but he didn’t try and stop me.

Jake was at the bar with Damon and his date so I went to stand beside them and reached for another glass of champagne, letting Jake place an arm around my shoulders and lean into my ear.

“Some party.” He muttered. “Can you imagine how much this thing cost?”

I nodded and took a sip of my champagne, smiling as I saw Joe and Bessy share a tender moment between the dancefloor and the bar. I tried not to think about the fact that it could have been me and Brian. 

We had talked about marriage and kids a lot when we had been together but once the show started things got crazy and there was always something else to talk about. I had always pictured us getting married. I had imagined us having a small and intimate ceremony with only friends and family, me wearing a simple yet beautiful dress as we promised to spend the rest of our lives making each other happy. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I thought of what could have been. 

Realising that I was letting my thoughts run away with me I focused my attention back on Jake and saw that he had asked me something.

“Sorry Jake, what was that?” I said, bringing myself back to the present.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked again.

I looked at the dancefloor to see several couples swaying to a popular ballad and decided what the hell? I nodded and let Jake lead me to an empty spot on the dancefloor, putting his arms around me and pulling me close.

I tried to smile as he led me around the floor but couldn’t help spotting Brian sat at a table with Sal, clearly discussing something important. He was gesturing wildly but Sal was shaking his head. Wondering what was going on and whether they were talking about me I tried to forget about it as Jake smiled down at me.

It was hard to concentrate on dancing but I made a pretty good go of it and it wasn’t long before the song ended. The DJ started to spin something more upbeat so I shook my head at Jake and we went and found Damon and his date at a table. I decided that I was going to have a good night and focused my attention on the banter flowing around the table.

A few drinks later I had managed to get into the swing of things and was just walking up to the bar for more drinks when I felt a hand on my arm. It was Murr.

“Come and dance with me, pretty lady.” He said in a mock Southern accent, pulling me towards the dancefloor.

I was powerless to resist and grinned as he took my hand and we had just stepped onto the dancefloor when the tempo slowed down. James pulled me into his arms and smiled down at me as he pulled me close and we started to sway to the beat.

His eyes landed on Brian, who was sat a table with Joe and Bessy, laughing at something that one of them had said.

“The last year has been tough, Ash.” Murr told me seriously. 

I looked up at him and smiled sadly. “It has been for me too, James.” I replied. “But everything happens for a reason.” 

“I know, sweetheart, but he is miserable without you.” Murr admitted. 

I shook my head. “I can’t do this ok?” I told him. “Can we not just focus on Joe tonight?”

Murr smiled down at me and nodded. “Ok, but I’m not letting you go tonight without your number.” He said adamantly. “We have missed you too, you know.”

I smiled for real this time and pulled him closer until I was wrapped in his warm embrace. “I’m sorry James.” I said honestly. “I should have stayed in touch.”

The song ended and I let James take my hand and walk back to my table, where he took a seat besides Jake. He started to make small talk and I knew that he was being nice to him for my sake. Seeing them chatting I felt another smile on my lips and decided to run to the bathroom while I wouldn’t be missed.

This time I walked past the couches and quickly went to the bathroom and after fluffing my hair and adding another slick of lip gloss I headed back out the door and was surprised to find Brian once against lounging against the wall, clearly waiting for me. 

Before I could protest he took a hold of my arm and directed me to a room off the corridor. I tried to ignore how good it felt to have him touching me. When the door closed behind him he turned to face me.

“We need to talk Ash.” He told me, taking a step back and running his hands through his hair.

“Brian its Joey’s wedding.” I replied. “It’s not the time.”

He shook his head before looking up at me. “I haven’t seen you for a year Ashley.” He said seriously. “So there are a few things that I need to say while I have the chance.”

I took a deep breath and walked over to perch on the edge of a one of the tables in the room and decided to hear him out. 

“Ok.” I told him. “I’m listening.”

He came and stood in front of me and once again run his hands through his hair, which I knew to mean that he was struggling to find the right words to say. 

“This year has been hell for me, Ash.” He started. “Why did you just disappear?”

“I thought it would be better for both of us if we had a clean break.” I answered, trying to stay calm.

“We could have worked things out Ash,” he went on. “You didn’t have to just run away!”

I looked at him and saw that his brow was furrowed, his mouth pulled into a tight line. I could see the pain behind his eyes and knew that this year must have been just as hard, if not harder, for him as it was for me.

“Brian we wanted different things.” I replied. “You needed to focus on the show, I just wanted a quiet life.”

He came and stood in front of me and placed his large hands on my shoulders. “That’s crap and you know it.” He retorted. “You got scared.”

I shrugged out of his hold and went to stand over by the window, looking out over the plush gardens. 

“Look, does it matter what happened?” I said, looking wistfully out of the window. “It’s done now.”

I watched as his reflection in the window moved closer to me until he was standing behind me. “Yes it matters Ash.” 

I braced myself and turned around to find him so close that I could smell his breath. I could tell that he had been drinking whisky, I hate it myself but loved the smell of it on him. “Why?”

“Because I love you.” He told me looking me square in the eyes. 

I felt my cheeks flush as my body temperature rocketed so I took a step back so that I could take some deep breaths. I was an idiot to come here and think that I could get away without talking to him, I had known that this was going to happen.

“I know, Bri.” I sighed. “But it doesn’t change anything.” 

“I am going to get you back.” He said, suddenly looking up at me and meeting my eyes. I could see in his eyes that he meant what he said and my heart started to pound seeing the determination there. 

“We need to get back out there.” I said, decided to pretend I didn’t hear the words he had said to me.

I turned and started towards the door but stopped on hearing him call my name. I spun around to see him smiling at me, a real smile. The smile that used to make me go weak at the knees. 

“I mean it Ashley.” He grinned. “I know you want me still. I know you.”

My cheeks coloured as he stood there watching me so I turned to the door and opened it, stepping out into the corridor and taking a deep breath. Part of me couldn’t believe that he still wanted me, part of me had known he would, just as part of me still ached for him. I knew that he was telling the truth and I also knew that now I had seen him I had opened the floodgates. Walking back towards the banquet hall I tried to put it out of my mind. Whatever was going to happen from this moment on didn’t matter right now. I was here to celebrate with one of my oldest friends.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked into my office and hurriedly flung my bag onto my desk, noticing from the clock on my desk that I was running late. The boss had called me last night and told me that he had great news and that I was to come to his office the next morning so here I was. I made my way quickly through the corridors towards Michael’s much larger office and stopped for a second to catch my breath.

Knocking on the door I heard him call for me to enter so opened the door and stepped inside, shooting him an apologetic grin. 

“Sorry I’m late.” I told him.

He waved away my apology and gestured for me to sit down. “Don’t worry.” Michael told me. “The client is running a bit late themselves.”

“Client?” I questioned curiously.

Michael grinned and nodded his head. “I received a call yesterday from a high profile client and they asked for you personally.”

I watched as all of a sudden his attention was caught by something behind us in the corridor. His eyes followed whatever he was looking at until he turned to me. 

“And here they are now.”

Someone knocked on the door and Michael quickly called for them to come in. As I saw who walked through the door my mouth fell open.

“Ashley, I heard you’ve met our newest client… Brian Quinn.” 

Brian walked into the office and smiled at me confidently before walking over to Michael and shaking his hand. “She sure has.” He said grinning. “Me and Ashley here go way back.”

Brian took a seat next to me and Michael went to sit behind his desk, watching us both with interest. 

“Ashley here is one of the best in the business.” He told Brian smiling. “She will take care of everything you need.”

The next half hour passed in a blur and it seemed like mere minutes later when Michael suggested that Brian and I go and talk in more depth in my office, effectively dismissing us.

I stood up and smoothed down my knee length black skirt before heading to the door, which Brian was holding open for me. 

“Lead the way.” He told me grinning.

I shot him an annoyed look and stalked back to my office, Brian following closely behind me. I entered my office and went to sit behind my desk as closed the door before taking the seat in front of me and smiling up at me, waiting for me to speak.

“If you think this is going to work then you are kidding yourself, Quinn.” I told him angrily. “You have no right to come into my place of work.”

He shrugged and placed his hands on my desk, before reaching over to pick up one of the photos up off the table. It was a picture of me, Damon and Julian on holiday a few years back and I belatedly realised that Brian had been the one to take the picture.

“I always loved that picture.” He said, looking down at me on the beach, my brothers standing beside me, smiling into the camera.

I reached over and snatched the photo frame out of his hands before putting it back in its rightful place.

“So, you want me to handle you and the guy’s PR.” I said looking at him, my tone business like.

“Yeah.” He answered nodding. “We figured it was about time we got someone in to handle it instead of let the rest of the team deal with everything.” 

“How convenient.” I replied sarcastically. 

Just then my office door opened and I grimaced, seeing that it was Jake.

“Hey Ash.” He said brightly. “Fancy a…”

He trailed off, seeing Brian sitting there.

Brian didn’t miss a beat, standing up and offering a hand for Jake to shake. “Jake,” he greeted. “It’s nice to see you again.” 

Jake looked between the two of us and smiled. “Sorry.” He apologised. “I didn’t know you had company.” 

“Turns out Brian and the guys are looking for a new publicist.” I told him, trying to keep my tone light. “He has come in to sort out the details.” 

“Oh wow!” Jake exclaimed, grinning at Brian. “Well you are in safe hands. Ashley here is the best.” 

I caught Brian’s eye and saw that he had one eyebrow raised in amusement.

With that Jake told us he would leave us to it and said goodbye before telling me he would come back later. As Jake pulled the door shut behind him Brian looked back at me.

“So that’s my competition then?” he cracked. “How long you been seeing him?”

I stared at him incredulously, amazed that he could joke about this. “This isn’t a game, Quinn.” I snapped. 

Brian smiled at me and shrugged, briefly letting me see the pain behind the smile. “I know Ash.” He retorted. “If you knew how hard the last year has been for me you would know that.”

I winced at his tone but decided to brush past it. “So I guess I should meet with your team and we should go over the details.” 

“We meet most days before filming.” He told me. “How is tomorrow morning?” 

I turned to my schedule and saw that I could fit in a meeting tomorrow so penciled it in. “Tomorrow is fine.” I nodded handing him card, my tone turning business like once again. “Here is my number. Let me know where.”

Suddenly his phone rang and hearing the ringtone I looked up at him in surprise. It was Simple Minds ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me).’ It was our song. 

I felt my cheeks go red as I remembered that it was the song that we had shared our first kiss to, back at a high school dance. It seemed so long ago but all of a sudden I could remember it like it was yesterday. I remembered how good it felt to have his lips on mine.

He caught me blushing and smiled, taking advantage of my shock and reaching over to take my hand. “Good to see you haven’t forgotten.” He muttered, his other hand reaching into his pocket.

I glimpsed a picture of Joe on the screen before he put the phone up to his ear.

“Hey bro. Yeah she is on board. She is meeting with us all tomorrow. Ok see you soon. Bye.” 

I listened to his side of the conversation and felt a thrill course through me at the idea of working with the guys. We had always had so much fun when we were together, I knew that working with them was going to be a blast. 

“So tomorrow?” Brian prompted, seeing that I had drifted off into my thoughts.

I couldn’t help it, I found myself smiling. “It looks like it.” 

I stood up and he stood up with me and I could tell that he was debating whether or not he should try and hug me. I made the decision for him, walking to stand in front of him before offering him my hand. 

He looked into my eyes as he reached out and clasped my hand, taking my small hand in his much larger one. As his fingers enveloped mine my heart rate rocketed and I felt an insane urge to throw myself into his arms. 

I pulled back quickly and saw his eyes crinkle at the corners. He leaned towards me and for a heart stopping second I thought he was going to kiss me.

“I know you feel it too.” He whispered, his face mere inches from mine. “I recognise that look.” 

With that he turned around and headed towards the door, pulling a cap out of his pocket before he opened it, pulling it low over his head. 

“Bye.” He grinned.

As the door closed and I saw him retreat down the hall I went to sit back down and let my head fall onto my arms, which I rested on the desk. 

I couldn’t believe he had done this. I had known that I would hear from him sooner or later but I never imagined that he would do something like this. I should have known, he had always been a determined son of a bitch. 

As I realised that I was going to be seeing him regularly I couldn’t help but feel a thrill course through me again. I had never stopped loving him and I shouldn’t have run away all those months ago. I should have at least stayed to explain myself instead of bolting and burying my head in the sand. The last year had been empty without him and I couldn’t deny that the idea of having him back in my life, even as a friend, was appealing.

I had been scared, he was right about that. All of a sudden he was a big deal and I didn’t want to get left behind. I didn’t want him to fall for someone better looking and younger than me and end up having my heart smashed into a million pieces. I had seen it happen before and knew that it would break me.

Breaking me out of my thoughts I heard my door open and looked up to find Jake poking his head around the door.

“Got time for coffee?” he asked cheerfully. 

I forced a smile and nodded, reaching for my bag and following him out of the door. 

 

We had ordered our coffees and were sat around a table waiting for our order when Jake looked at me earnestly.

“So Brian Quinn…” he started getting straight to the point. “He’s the Brian from your past isn’t he?” 

I looked up at him and thought about how I was going to answer. As I looked at him I realised that I had more than likely become attracted to him because he was the total opposite of Brian. He had light, blonde hair, was clean shaven and was only a few inches taller than me. While he could be funny when he wanted to be he was more of a brooding type. They were as different as night and day. 

“I didn’t realise at first, with him being called Q on the show.” He went on, pulling me back to the present. “Then I saw the way he looked at you at the wedding and I figured it out.”

I shrugged and concentrated on keeping my voice level. “It was a long time ago.” I admitted. 

“So what happened?” he asked me curiously.

“I guess we just grew apart.” I lied, hoping that my eyes didn’t give me away. 

Luckily the waitress chose that moment to bring us our coffees and I was able to focus on putting cream and sugar in, using the time to compose myself.

“So now you are working for them?” Jake noted.

I felt a genuine smile pull at my mouth as I thought about the fun we were going to have. “Looks like it.” 

“Won’t that be awkward?” Jake asked me.

I shook my head and smiled as normally as I could. “Why would it be?” 

“He is your ex, Ashley.” He replied. “Surely you see where I am coming from?”

I nodded and realised that I was biting my bottom lip as Jake went on.

“I know it’s only early days but I like you a lot Ash,” he admitted. “I think this could go somewhere.”

He reached his hand out and I took it, looking up into his eyes to find him smiling at me. Before I could stop him he leaned over and tenderly brushed his lips against mine. 

When Jake pulled back I opened my eyes and smiled. “I like you a lot too Jake.” I told him honestly. “I just want to go slow though ok?”

Jake nodded before finishing his coffee, standing up and reaching out for my hand. “Come on,” he urged me. “We better get back to work.”

 

 

The next day dawned warm and bright and I stood in front of my wardrobe wondering what I should wear. After trying on two outfits I realised that I was being ridiculous in worrying about this. I had been friends with the guys for years and knew they wouldn’t particularly care what I wore; I shouldn’t feel the need to dress up for them. 

I pulled out one of my favourite white sundresses, which was covered in bright multi coloured birds and pulled my shoulder length hair into a messy bun, quickly grabbing my sunglasses off the dresser before picking my bag up off the floor and checking that I had everything I needed.

It turns out that they were filming in Central Park today, so we were meeting at the TV offices, which funnily enough were right around the corner from my apartment. 

It was close enough for me to walk so I plugged my headphones into my Ipod and headed out onto the busy street. As I picked out a song and turned the volume up I started to head towards the offices. Remembering yesterday with Jake I felt slightly bad for lying to him. I knew I should tell him the truth about me and Brian but I wasn’t ready. All I knew was that Brian and the guys were back in my life and I hadn’t quite worked out what this meant and how I felt about this yet.

I had spent so much time trying to get over Brian but now I had seen him again I knew that things were bound to get complicated and felt a pang of regret that Jake was going to get caught in the middle.

As I reached the offices I walked into the plush building and headed over to the elevator, pushing the button and waiting for it to return to the lobby. It wasn’t long before I was walking inside and pushing the button for the 11th floor, where Brian had told me their offices were situated, I tried to calm my nerves.  
I felt my heartbeat accelerate as the numbers increased and the doors soon opened, revealing a large office with several corridors heading off of it. I walked up to the desk and told the pretty teenage receptionist my name before being directed towards the guy’s main offices. 

Smoothing down my hair I walked the way I had been shown and was soon standing in front of an office labelled ‘Impractical Jokers.’

I knocked and instantly the door was thrown open and I saw the guys along with about 8 others sitting chatting around a table. It was Brian who had opened the door and he looked me up and down before meeting my eyes and shooting me a wink.

“Ash!” he greeted smiling. “You look great!”

I couldn’t help blushing at his comment as I walked into the room for him to introduce me to everyone. I saw that I actually knew most of them; the guys had obviously kept their team the same from the start and stuck with people that they knew. Sal, James and Joe got up to hug me and I was surprised when the others that I knew got up to hug me as well. It was nice to see them all again and I was relieved to find that there was absolutely no awkwardness at all.

“So,” James started, always the serious one. “Let’s get cracking.”

We went over what was expected of me and I was given the plans for the coming months and told what was already scheduled in. I was unsurprised to hear that their schedule was just as hectic as it had been when I left and realised that dealing with their PR was going to take up the majority of my time at work. 

Still, there was nothing that I wasn’t used to and I grinned knowing that I would be able to do everything that they wanted with ease. I learned that they sat down like this together most days to go over everything so it wasn’t long before we had wrapped things up and the guys had to be on their way to that day’s filming. 

“Your offices are right near the park.” Brian pointed out. “Want to grab a lift with us?”

I looked at the guys to see them all watching at me expectantly and didn’t have the heart to say no. Spending time with them again was just as great as I thought it would be and I didn’t want to leave just yet.

“Got time to stick around and watch for a while?” Sal asked hopefully, coming to place an arm casually around my shoulders. 

I grinned and nodded. “Of course I have.” I replied. “Sounds like fun.”

This is how we all ended up in Brian’s jeep, Sal in the front and me, Murr and Joe in the back. As Brian turned on the stereo and we were assailed by a loud and instantly recognisable Wu-Tang track I had to smile, it was like nothing had changed and it almost seemed like no time had passed and the last year was nothing but a distant memory. 

As I grinned I saw Brian look at me in the rear view mirror and return my smile. He had always been able to read my thoughts and it looked like that hadn’t changed.  
It wasn’t long before he had the car parked so we all jumped out and headed towards the park where I saw more people I recognised setting up for the day’s filming.  
“Kept the same team huh?” I commented as their main camera guy came and gave me a hug.

Joe grinned at me. “We make a good team.” He told me simply.

The guys took their places and I smiled as I watched them banter good naturedly in front of the cameras. It was no surprise to me that they had taken off as they had, their friendship was clear to see and everything they did was effortless. I felt a pang of pride that they had made it and now got to do what they loved for a living. 

As my pride was replaced with regret at missing the last year I quashed my feelings and tried to focus on why I had walked away in the first place. I knew how hard things could be and after watching several of my clients, not to mention my parents, go through nasty divorces, I knew I was right. I couldn’t take the risk. While the last year had been hard I knew it would have been harder if Brian had been the one to walk away from me.

Standing behind the cameras I watched as the guys did what they did best and coaxed each other to do ridiculous things that only they could have come up with. It wasn’t long before they broke for something to eat and I looked down at my phone to see that I really should be getting back to the offices.

I told them that I would see them tomorrow and was only slightly surprised when Brian offered to walk me to work.

“Sure.” I replied before I had time to think of a reason to say no.

He broke into a smile and told the guys he would be back in a few minutes and I told them I would see them in the next couple of days.  
We started to walk towards my offices and it was a couple of minutes before either of us said anything but eventually the silence started to feel awkward and I felt the need to fill the void.

“You guys are so great together.” I told him remember the easy way they interacted in front of the cameras. 

He looked up at me wistfully and nodded. “I can’t believe we get to do this for a living.” He told me. 

“You are lucky.” I replied, trying not to let sadness creep into my voice, but as usual he could tell what I was thinking.

“Aren’t you?” he questioned bluntly.

I bit my lip and looked up at him, wanting to say so much but not having the nerve. “Sure, I mean I love my job.” I told him. 

“But?” he coaxed.

“But nothing.” I lied. “I have a great job, a great family. What more could I want?”

Brian clearly wanted to say something but he held his tongue and I looked up to realise that we were in front of my building. 

“I better get to work.” I said hurriedly looking up to see him watching me. 

“So I will see you in a few days?” he asked. 

I nodded and smiled. “I guess so.” 

Before I realised what was happening he had pulled me into his arms for a hug and I sighed as his arms wound their way around my back to pull me close. As my head fell to rest against his shoulder I heard him inhale to smell my hair and remembered that he had always loved the scent of my shampoo.  
I revelled in the feeling of having his arms around me after so long and couldn’t help but cling on just a few moments longer than I should before my head took over and I pulled out of his embrace. 

“I’ll see you soon ok?” I said and quickly made my way through the huge double doors that would lead back to my office.

If I thought that I was going to get to spend the day thinking things over then I was wrong. Michael called me into his office for a briefing and wanted to know what I had planned for the guys. We spent an hour going over my plans and he told me that he was happy with everything before dismissing me and sending me back to my office. 

I had only just sat down when Jake walked in and told me that he was taking me for dinner tonight to celebrate my new clients. Realising that I had no plans I nodded and he arranged to pick me up from my apartment after work. 

The rest of the day passed in a blur as I got up to date with my paperwork and vetted some new clients for Michael. 

It wasn’t until I got home and stood in a hot shower that I allowed my thoughts to stray back to Brian. I couldn’t deny that being with him was easy, in fact it was like only a day had passed since I had last seen him. I was still as attracted to him as I had been and I knew that part of me would always love him but I couldn’t go back there. The type of love we had shared was impossible to get over and I knew from seeing my mom and dad split up that you never really recovered. I couldn’t have that happen to me. 

I tried to forget about him as I pulled on a dress and got ready for Jake. As usual he was on time and as we sat in his car on the way to the restaurant I looked at him and wondered whether I was being fair to him. 

I couldn’t deny my feelings for Brian but knowing that nothing could come of it was I really doing anything wrong? I decided that I was going to focus on Jake and try and make things work. I knew that Brian was the one true love of my life but I needed to try and move on. Jake was a nice guy and I knew that he cared about me a lot. Maybe tonight would even be the night we finally consummated our relationship. 

Jake had brought me to one of my favourite restaurants and I remembered that they did a killer margarita so I ordered one and tried to concentrate on Jake and give him my undivided attention. The more I drank the more I remembered how much I liked him and when after dinner he suggested going back to his place I couldn’t think of a reason not to so I let him lead me unsteadily to the car. 

Next thing I knew we were on his sofa and I was letting him undo my blouse. As I sat there in just my bra his eyes raked over my chest hungrily and I tried in vain to keep Brian from my mind. When Jake kissed me I couldn’t help but imagine it was Brian kissing me and I felt moisture pool between my legs as the room span around me. As Jake layed me down on the sofa and tugged at my skirt I closed my eyes and pictured Brian on top of me. The drink was making it hard to think straight so I gave into temptation and pushed my body into Jake’s embrace, thinking that just this once I would let myself fantasise about Brian. After tonight I would make an effort to put him out of my mind. Jake never had to know….


	3. Chapter 3

The next day I got into the office early, knowing that it was going to be a busy day, especially seeing as the margaritas from last night had left me with a killer hangover. I found my answer phone flashing to signal that I had several messages as I tried not to remember how brazen I had been last night. Images of Brian and Jake ran through my head but I tried to put them both out of my mind as I attempted to pay attention to my messages. Taking a seat and booting up my computer as I listened to them half-heartedly I heard the words ‘Impractical Jokers’ and rewound the message. 

As the message finished I started to grin and forget all about my hangover. Wanting to tell the guys the news in person I realised that if I left now I would make their morning meeting so I quickly text Michael to tell him where I would be and grabbed my bag before heading towards the elevator.   
15 minutes later I arrived at the offices and hurriedly made my way up to the 11th floor before stopping outside their office to catch my breath. Excited to see them react to my news I knocked the door and heard one of them call for me to go in and opened the door quickly.

“Ash!” Murr exclaimed in surprise. “Do we have a meeting?”

They all turned to look at me and as they saw the look on my face they realised that something was going on the room became quiet.

“What’s going on?” Sal asked nervously. 

I took a breath and grinned, wanting to savour the moment. 

“I just got a call from the producers down at MTV.” I told them, pausing before I continued. “You guys are up for best Comedy show at the upcoming awards!” 

I saw the news sink in before Joe stood up and came to stand in front of me. “Are you serious?”

I nodded and threw my arms around him happily as he picked me up and swung me around excitedly.

“Congratulations guys!” I exclaimed as he put me down. 

The rest of them stood up and hugs and high fives were exchanged as they all chatted excitedly about the upcoming awards.

“This is amazing.” Brian said pulling me into his embrace. “You have to come with us!”

As he let me go I pulled back and looked at his face, his mouth spread wide in a grin. “You were there from the start. You need to share this with us.” He told me adamantly.

“When are the awards?” Sal asked me.

I checked my phone diary and saw that they were actually pretty soon. “Two weeks time.” I told him. “Looks like you need to buy a new suit.” 

The excited chatter went on but after a while I realised that I needed to get back to the office for a lunch time meeting.

“Well, we need to celebrate.” Joe decided. “Tonight, my house, barbeque.” 

I grinned and nodded and told them all I would see them later before heading towards the door. “Can’t wait.” I told him. “Congratulations again guys, I’m so proud of you.”

 

Considering I was worried that the day would drag the end of the day was here in no time and I was just shutting down my computer when Jake walked into my office.

“Hey babe.” He greeted, walking towards me and planting a kiss on my lips. “How you feeling?” 

I smiled and shook my head. “Better than I thought I would.” 

“Come on, I’ll drive you home.” He told me grinning.

We talked about nothing much until we pulled up at my apartment and Jake shut off the engine. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I told him leaning over to drop a brief kiss on his cheek.

Too late I noticed that he looked stung and realised that he was expecting me to invite him in. “I’d invite you in but I have plans.” I told him. “Tomorrow night?” 

He smiled and nodded as I turned to open the car door. Before I could he placed his hand across me and took hold of my hand before I could reach for the door handle. 

“Ash?” he said, causing me to look up at him. “Last night was incredible.”

I felt guilt lance through me but covered it and dropped another kiss on his cheek before opening the door. “I know.” I replied, trying to put a genuine smile on my face.

With that I climbed out of the car and waved briefly before walking into my building. Not wanting to let worrying about Jake ruin my good mood I decided to put it out of my mind and focus on having a good night celebrating with the guys.

 

I checked the address that Joe had given me again and saw that I had it right so hurried up the steps while admiring the large detached property that he now called home. The door was open so I walked in and instantly heard voices coming from the back of the house. 

As I walked towards the kitchen and saw that it was already filled with people I felt a pang of nerves seeing that it was all the guy’s families and other close friends. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the inevitable questions and had barely stepped into the kitchen when I heard someone yell my name. 

I turned round, not knowing what to expect but felt myself swept up into a hug and grinned as Brian’s brother swung me around.

“Ash.” He exclaimed. “Where you been, girl?” 

I smiled as he put me down and tried to make a joke of it. “Oh you know, around.” I replied with a wink.

He grabbed me a beer off the kitchen counter and leaned into my ear, dropping his arm casually around my shoulder. “Well, it’s great to have you back.” He told me fondly.

He led me out into the garden where I saw that the party was already in full swing and I saw Brian watching me as everyone came over and said hi, telling me that they had missed me and how it was great to see me again. Even Brian’s parents were fine with me and I was surprised that not one person brought up how things had ended or asked any questions.

It was over half hour before I managed to get over to the guys, who were sitting in comfy deck chairs on the patio as Joe grilled burgers and sausages next to them at the barbeque.

Murr pulled me into his lap and I smiled as he rested his head on my shoulder. 

“How’s it feel to be back?’ he asked me as the others chatted amongst themselves. 

‘Amazing.” I said honestly, taking a long swig of my beer. “I didn’t realise how much I had missed this.” 

We looked around and saw everyone kicking back as the kids ran riot on Joe’s lawn, playing with the sprinklers. As I watched everyone laughing and drinking it was like I had never left. It was hard to believe it had been a whole year.

I threw myself into the spirit of the party and it wasn’t long before Joe had cranked the music up and people had started dancing on the lawn. I joined in and let Sal lead me to the lawn where we started to dance. The evening was still warm and it wasn’t long before I felt the need for another beer to cool myself down. 

“I’ll be back.” I told him grinning, heading inside to the now empty kitchen and opening the beer fridge. I pulled a bottle out and opened it and went to stand against the counter, watching out the window as the guys and their nearest and dearest let their hair down and celebrated the news as I swigged from the bottle.

I didn’t realise that I was no longer alone until I felt a hand on my arm.

“Having a good time?” Brian asked me. 

I turned to look at him and felt a pang of longing. He was dressed down, wearing a black t-shirt and some old jeans and a battered pair of cons but still he could make my heart race. 

“You bet.” I told him, the drink loosening my tongue. “I’ve missed this.”

He moved closer to me and took a swig of my beer before running his hand down the side of face. 

“You shouldn’t have left.” He told me quietly, meeting my gaze head on as I stood, powerless to stop him. 

Without realising it I had started to tilt my face up to his and I saw him move closer. I closed my eyes in anticipation of the kiss but was startled to hear someone burst into the kitchen just before our lips met. 

I jumped away from him guiltily and opened my eyes and saw that it was one of Sal’s nieces. 

“Uncle Bri.” She said coming and grabbing his hand. “I want to dance.” 

She pulled him towards the door and I quickly looked away, realising how close I had come to kissing him. I had totally forgotten about Jake and I felt a sense of shame wash over me as I remembered how much I had wanted Brian to kiss me. 

Just as Brian disappeared Joe walked into the kitchen and saw me standing there. He saw the look on my face and came over to pull me into a hug before ruffling my hair. 

“Oh Ashley.” He sighed. “When are you going to learn to follow your heart?”

I felt my eyes fill with tears but looked up at him with a smile. I started to speak but he put a finger to my lips and stopped me. 

“I know things were hard for you when your parents split up but sometimes things work out.” He went on. “I knew the first time I saw you and Bri together that you were meant for each other.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak and snuggled gratefully into his arms. He ran a hand over my hair, stroking it softly and only pulled back when Bessy entered the room. 

“Everything ok?” she asked me worriedly as I stepped out of Joe’s embrace.

“Of course she is.” Joe answered with a smile. “She just needs to learn to trust her gut.” 

Bessy smiled and came to stand besides Joe before shooing him out of the kitchen. He shot us both a smile and stepped back into the garden and I returned to the counter to watch Brian out of the window. He was swinging Sal’s niece round and round and she was howling with laughter, you could hear her from here.

“The kids love him.” Bessy said fondly, following my eyes and seeing me watching him.

I smiled sadly and watched as Brian put her down and went to sit back down with the guys on the patio.

“He hasn’t been with anyone this whole year.” Bessy admitted. “And believe me, he has had plenty of opportunities.” 

I turned to look at her in shock and met her eyes. 

“It’s always been you Ashley.” She told me.

With that she squeezed my hand before pulling me towards the doors. “Come on.” She urged me. “Let’s have some fun.”

I decided that I should forget about all of the drama until I got home so went back out and it wasn’t long before I started to enjoy myself again. It was hard not to when surrounded by people that I had known for years, who had become like family to me, people that I shouldn’t have cut out of my life. 

I could see that now. They were kind enough to take me back into the fold without a word about what had happened and not once did I find myself feeling unwelcome or awkward. 

As the party started to draw to a close people started to clear out and I realised that if I left it much longer it would end up just me and the guys and I didn’t want to end up left alone again with Brian so I saw Sal’s sister picking up one of the sleeping kids and quickly headed over.

“Can I grab a lift?” I asked quietly.

“Sure thing.” She said smiling. “We are leaving in a few minutes.”

“Thanks a lot.” I told her gratefully. “I’ll just go and grab my things.” 

I looked over to where the guys were sat with a few others, joking and drinking amongst themselves. Luckily, as I watched I saw Sal climb to his feet and head towards the kitchen so I took my chance and followed him into the room. 

As I walked towards him he turned and saw me and his face curved into a smile. He held his arms open for a hug and I walked into his embrace and marvelled that it still felt the same after all this time. 

“It’s great to have you around again, Ash.” He muttered drunkenly. “Don’t leave us again ok?”

I grinned up at him and nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

He let me go and walked over to the fridge as I reached over for my bag. 

“You heading off?” he asked noticing me grab my stuff.

“I’ve got work early tomorrow.” I told him nodding. “Your sister is giving me a lift. Tell the others I will see them in a few days ok?”

Luckily, he had drunk enough not to question my reasons for sneaking away so he quickly pecked me on the cheek and told me that he would see me soon before heading back out to join the others.

I walked over to the window and looked out at them once last time, trying not to think back to the times when the 5 of us would sit up all night drinking and talking and laughing. Those times were over and if we were going to be able to work together I needed to stop reminiscing. Things were never going to be exactly like they were.

Just then Sal’s sister came in a told me they were ready so I gratefully headed out of the door, taking a seat next to one of the girls in the car and grinning as I watched her lean her head against my shoulder and her eyes flutter closed. 

 

The next week was busier than ever and to my relief Jake was called away with work so apart from a few phone calls I didn’t see him. While I felt bad for nearly kissing Brian I kidded myself by blaming the drink and decided that I would figure out what to do about Jake when he got back. I was still adamant that getting back with Brian would end in tears so I threw myself into my work and managed to put it all out of my mind. 

At the end of a busy week, after another long and tiring day I grabbed my bag and headed out to the street to hail a cab to my mom’s for our weekly dinner. I was looking forward to spending a night with my family and as it was Friday night I might even have a few drinks, stay over and have a lazy morning before having to go shopping to find something to wear for the awards. 

I paid the fare and jumped out of the cab, grinning as I walked around the house and saw my mom stirring something over the stove. I walked in the house and was immediately assaulted by the strong smell of home cooked Mexican food and went over to my mom to drop a kiss on her cheek.

“Smells good.” I told her dumping my bag on the counter. “Need any help?” 

She turned and smiled at me, shaking her head fondly. “All under control.” She told me. “Go and relax with the boys dear.” 

I went over to the fridge where I pulled out a beer before heading towards the den, where I could hear my brothers laughing at something on tv. 

As I walked into the room I stopped and did a double take as I saw that Brian was sitting next to Damon on the couch. My mouth fell open and I wondered what he was doing here and instantly realised that it must have something do with my brothers. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked incredulously as he looked up and saw me standing in the doorway. 

“I ran into Julian here at the mall today.” He told me nonchalantly. “He invited me over.” 

“I figured it would be ok now you guys are working together.” Julian chipped in, not even bothering to look away from the tv.

“What were you doing at the mall?” I asked Brian suspiciously. “You hate shopping.”

Julian and Damon laughed and Brian joined in. “Got that right.” He admitted. “I was looking for a suit for the awards.”

I went to sit on the arm chair as my mind conjured up an image of him from the wedding. He had always looked so good in a suit. “Find anything?” 

He shook his head. “It was hopeless.” He replied.

All of a sudden Damon looked away from the tv. “Aren’t you going shopping tomorrow sis?” he said wickedly, his eyes moving from me over to Brian. “Why don’t you help him find something?”

I sighed, shooting Damon a look even though I knew that Brian was still looking. I heard chuckling coming from the couch and turned to look at him.

“Thanks Ash.” Brian grinned at me, before I had chance to say no. “It’s a date.”

I rolled my eyes and drained my beer, using the opportunity to escape the room and go back into the kitchen to join my mom.

“Thanks for the heads up.” I told her, reaching into the fridge for another drink. 

She turned to look at me and shrugged. “I thought it would be ok seeing as you are working together now.” She told me echoing Julian’s words from just a few minutes ago.

“Whatever.” I mumbled, taking a long pull of my beer. 

“Things going ok?” she asked curiously.

I went to stand next to her and rested my head on her shoulder as she stirred the large pan full of rice on the stove. “It’s hard, mom.” I admitted. “I expected things to be different but they are exactly the same.” 

She turned to look at me and smiled. “That’s good right?”

“I suppose so.” I said cautiously. “But I can’t go back there.” 

“What’s meant to be, will be.” She said simply, reaching under the counter to get a drainer for the rice. 

“I’ll go and set the table.” I decided, not willing to think about what she was getting at. 

Dinner was a lively affair. Damon made a batch of margaritas and we all drank too much and ate too much as the banter flowed around the table. On one hand it was great to have Brian around again but I didn’t know how long I could take having him back in my life without things getting complicated. After we had demolished the food we all went and sat in the front room in front of the tv and flipped through the channels. There was nothing much on so we sat chatting and drinking. As Brian messed around with my brothers I watched them and felt bad than I was the reason that they hadn’t got to spend more time together over the last year. After all the years we had been together Brian had become like one of the family and it had been wrong of me to ask my brothers to stop seeing him. 

Breaking me out of my thoughts I was surprised when mom got up and said she was going to bed but when I looked at the clock I saw that it was actually getting pretty late. She pecked us all on the cheek but when she got to Brian she put her arms around him dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

“Nice to see you again, Brian.” She told him fondly. “Don’t be a stranger.”

I smiled until I saw that Damon and Julian were looking at me pointedly. 

“Feel free to stay if you want Brian.” My mom called before she headed upstairs.

“I think I will.” Brian decided. “I mean if that’s ok?” He looked at me and I noticed that Damon and Julian were both watching us.

I shrugged and stood up. “Whatever you want.” I said, trying to hide the frustration in my voice. “I’m going to bed.”

“See you in the morning, sis.” Julian said reaching down to pour himself another margarita. 

I headed towards the door and looked back, seeing that Brian watching me. As our eyes locked I remembered all the times that he had stayed over when we were growing up and had slept on the floor next to my bed. 

As I walked into my room and sat down on my bed and I looked around at the room I could remember those days so clearly, it was like it was yesterday. We used to sit up for hours talking about our hopes and dreams and would still be talking when the sun come up. He practically lived over here and spent so much time with us that my mom had ended up giving him his own key. 

I undressed quickly and lay my head on the pillow, listening to the guys laughing downstairs until I drifted off.

I didn’t know what time it was when I woke but I knew that it was still night time, the house was quiet and I could vaguely hear Damon snoring lightly in the room next to mine. The margaritas had left a sour taste in my mouth and I felt the need for a drink so forced myself out of bed before heading to the top of the stairs. It was quiet downstairs and I could just make out the sound of Brian’s heavy breathing coming from the den so I crept down the stairs, making sure to be as quiet as I could. 

The pull was too strong to resist so I tip-toed to the front room and peered in, seeing Brian stretched out on the biggest couch, his feet sticking out from beneath a blanket that one of my brothers had found for him to cover himself with. As I watched him I found myself walking closer until I was mere feet away from him, examining his face as he slumbered. 

He looked so young when he slept, his mouth curved in a semi-smile and his arm thrown over the pillow that his head rested on.

As the urge to touch him became too much I shook my head and walked back out the room, heading into the kitchen where I pulled open the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice. Not bothering to get a glass I sat down at the table and drank deeply from the carton. As the cool liquid flowed down my throat I heard something behind me and only just managed to keep the orange juice from spurting back out of my mouth as I jumped up and spun around.

“Sorry.” Brian whispered. “I didn’t think anyone would be up.”

I relaxed seeing that it was just him and sat back at the table as he came to sit next to me. 

“Tonight was fun.” He told me pointedly. “I have missed them all.”

I looked up at him in the dark, the only light in the room coming from the moonlight streaming through the window. 

“I shouldn’t have asked them not to see you.” I said suddenly, feeling the need to apologise. “That wasn’t fair of me.”

Brian reached over and took my hand, looking up to meet my gaze. “It doesn’t matter now.” He replied. “I’m back now.”

I felt rather than saw him move towards me and jumped out of my chair before I could do anything I would regret.

“Ash.” He said, clearly frustrated. “If this is about Jake…”

“It’s not about Jake.” I bit out. 

“Then what is it?” he asked confused. 

I shook my head, wondering how I could make him understand. “It was never going to work out.” I said sadly.

“Why Ashley?” he questioned, confusion still apparent on his face.

“Because nothing ever does Brian.” I replied. “It’s better if we stay friends.”

Understanding dawned as he saw what I was getting at and he stood up, putting the orange juice back in the fridge before heading back towards the front room. “If you say so.” He said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

With that he walked out of the room and I groaned and put my head in my hands as I heard the door to the den close behind him. 

Walking back up to my room I felt my eyes fill with tears but climbed into bed and closed my eyes before they could start to trickle down my cheeks. 

 

I got the feeling that it was late by the time I woke up and realised from the chatter I could hear from downstairs that I was the last one awake.

I pulled on some pajama bottoms and went to brush my teeth before heading towards the laughter I could hear coming from the kitchen. I could hear my family and Brian laughing about something and walked into the room to see them all sat around the kitchen table, demolishing the stack of pancakes and bacon that my mother had made that sat in the middle of the dining table.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Julian greeted seeing me walk into the kitchen.

“Not until I have had some coffee it isn’t.” I replied, reaching for a cup and filling it before stirring in cream and sugar.

“Still a morning person I see.” Brian cracked as I took my first sip.

I smiled sweetly over the rim of the cup but rolled my eyes as my brothers and mom started to laugh. 

I decided to change the subject. “So who is coming shopping with us?” 

Damon, Julian and mom turned to look at us. “We have plans.” They said in unison.

I shook my head, realising that I had been stitched up and reached for some pancakes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brian grin at them.

 

It was the 3rd shop we had been in and I sat down on the floor outside the curtain as Brian tried on yet more suits. I knew he was picky but to me they all looked good and I was starting to get annoyed with trailing around after him. I had my own shopping to do after all. I pulled my phone out and flicked through my messages as I waited. 

A couple of minutes later I heard the curtain open and looked up only for my mouth to go dry. 

He was wearing a black pinstripe suit and I had talked him into trying one on that was way more fitted than the others. He had not put on the tie but left the collar open and I tried to form a sentence as he stood looking down at me. 

“That good huh?” he asked me grinning, reaching down to pull me up to my feet. 

As I stood up I realised that we were mere inches apart and I could smell his breath, still minty from brushing his teeth. His eyes never left mine and I sighed deeply as his hand made its way up until it was resting on my cheek tenderly. 

“I love you Ashley.” He whispered. “I don’t know what you are scared of.”

Just then I heard one of the shop workers walk into the changing area and I heard her gasp as she saw him.

“Everything ok here?” she asked, regaining her composure as I stepped away from him.

Brian turned to face her and grinned. “I think so.” He told her, shooting her a wink.

I rolled my eyes as her cheeks coloured and she took a step closer to him.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking this Q, but would it be ok if I got an autograph?” she blustered. “I’m a big fan.” 

With that she produced a piece of paper and Brian took it off her, shooting her a smile before asking her name. He signed the paper with a flourish and handed it back to her. 

“Thanks so much.” She said, her cheeks still glowing. 

He nodded and smiled. “No worries.” He replied before turning back to me. 

He shot me a wink as the saleswoman walked out of the changing area, still not able to take her eyes off of him and I rolled my eyes. 

“I think this is the one.” He decided coming to stand beside me and turning us that so we were facing the mirror. 

I looked at our reflection as we stood staring into the mirror, Brian’s arm draped around my shoulder. We didn’t say anything as Brian’s eyes met mine and he took a step forward so that he was stood in front of me and was just about to say something when my phone rang. 

I jumped, grateful for the distraction and pulled my phone out of my bag, wincing as I saw Jake’s name on my caller ID.

Brian saw it too and I heard him mutter something under his breath but couldn’t make out what he said.

“Hey!” I answered, trying to make my voice sound cheerful as I walked away from Brian and out of the changing area.

Jake was back in town and wanted to go for dinner. I knew that I should see him as it had been a while since we had spent any time together so I said yes and told him I would see him later. 

I hung up the phone and realised that Brian was standing next to me.

“Hot date?” he asked me.

I looked up at him and saw that he was frowning. “Brian I don’t want to talk about him with you.” 

Brian nodded and stalked over to the cash register and I run my hands through my hair realising that I had hurt him. 

Wanting to make things right I walked up to him and grabbed his arm as he handed over his card to the saleswoman.

“I need us to be friends Brian.” I told him passionately. “I don’t want to lose you again.” 

He looked down at me and smiled, though I could tell it was forced. “Ok Ashley.” He replied with a sigh. “Whatever makes you happy.”

We waited for the saleswoman to pack up the suit and we headed back out into the mall where I looked around and thought about what stores would have something suitable for me to wear to the awards. 

Besides me I saw Brian look down at his watch before looking up at me.

“I didn’t realise the time.” He said with a frown. “I’ve got to get going. I promised my brother I would spend some time with him tonight.”

I smiled, relieved that I would be able to look for a dress on my own. I didn’t want any more close dressing rooms encounters today. 

“Next Monday right?” he asked, talking about our next meeting.

I nodded and smiled as he dropped a kiss on my cheek. “See you soon, Quinn.” 

He met my eyes and for a moment I thought he was going to say something but he merely smiled and patted my arm. “See you, Ash.” 

I watched him walk away and let out a deep sigh. Part of me wanted to go after him and jump headlong into his arms but I knew I couldn’t. Even if there were no Jake I just could not take the risk. I didn’t want to end up like my mom and knew that the only way of making sure that this didn’t happen was to be friends with Brian and nothing more.

 

Trying to perk myself up I had spent way too much on my outfit for the awards and I had only just put it away after trying it on again once I got home when I heard my buzzer, signalling that someone was at the door.

“Who is it?” I asked, looking at the clock on my wall and seeing that I had to get a move on if I was going to be on time to meet Jake at the restaurant. 

“It’s me.” I heard Jake’s voice over the intercom and frowned. 

“Come up.” I told him pushing the button that would let him in.

A minute later I heard a knock at my door and opened it to see Jake standing there, clutching a bouquet of flowers.

“Hey beautiful.” He said leaning towards me and pressing his lips against mine. “These are for you.” 

“I love them.” I told him honestly. They were lilies, my favourite. “Thanks Jake.” 

I opened the door wider so that he could come in and headed towards the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers. 

“Aren’t we supposed to be meeting at the restaurant?” I asked him as he followed behind me.

"I thought I would surprise you." he answered.

I found a vase easily and part filled it with water before putting the lilies in and placing them in the middle of my dining table.

“So how was your trip?” I asked fiddling with the flowers until they looked as good as possible. 

When Jake spoke next his voice was directly behind me. He was so close that I could feel his breath on my neck.

“Awful.” He said quietly. “I missed you.” 

I felt his lips at my neck and I leaned back into his embrace and let him turn me around so that I could wind my arms around his waist. As his lips started to trail lower and move over my collarbone towards my chest an image of Brian popped into my head and I knew that I couldn’t do this.

I pulled out of his arms and took a step back, watching as Jake took a deep breath and looked up at me. 

“I can’t do this Jake.” I told him reluctantly. 

He ran a hand through his short dark hair and took a step towards me, placing a hand on my upper arm. “What’s wrong?” he asked, concern apparent in his voice. 

“I wanted to go slow but this is all moving so fast.” I burst out. “I need some time ok?” 

Jake looked crestfallen but he composed himself and took a step back.

“Is this about Q?” he asked, looking up to meet my eyes.

I shook my head and reached out for him but he stepped back so that my hand fell limply in front of me. “Jake I told you.” I reiterated. “I just want to take some time ok?”

He nodded sadly and turned towards my door. “You want time.” He decided, anger creeping into his voice. “You got it. I’ll see you later.”

With that he opened the front door and walked through it and closed it quietly behind him. While part of me felt relieved that I didn’t have to pretend part of me felt really bad as things had been going really well until Brian had come back into my life. 

I had just sat down on my couch and was wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my weekend when my phone went off. It was Sal asking him if I wanted to go out for drinks with him and James. I told him I would love to and made my way into the bedroom to get changed. A few drinks were just what I needed.


	4. Chapter 4

I met Sal and Murr in a bar that we had been coming to for years and walked through the doors to see that they were sitting where we always sat, at a table in the back right next to the juke box.

“This place hasn’t changed a bit!” I exclaimed looking around.

“Hopefully it never will.” Murr replied pushing one of the bars famously strong Long Island Iced Teas towards me. 

“It sounded from the tone of your text like you needed something strong.” Sal explained seeing me raise my eyebrows. 

“I hate that you guys all know me so well.” I grinned reaching for the drink and taking a slug. 

“Want to talk about it?” Murr asked me. 

“I just want to get drunk.” I decided, shaking my head.

We slipped into an easy routine, one that we had been perfecting for years, taking turns in going up to the bar to fetch drinks and teasing each other good naturedly, talking about anything that came to mind. It wasn’t long before the cocktails had gone to my head and I found myself suddenly needing to talk about Brian.

“He worships you.” Sal told me as I leaned on his shoulder. 

“Now he does.” I answered gesturing wildly, a sure sign that I had had too much to drink. “But for how long?”

Murr and Sal exchanged glances and Murr pulled my head up so that I had to look at him.

“We know you are scared.” He said, his voice growing serious. “But you belong together.”

I looked at them and shook my head, putting my hands on the table to steady myself as I felt the room spin. “But someone will come along just like they did before.”

Sal put his hands over mine and looked at me. “She came onto him. If you had stayed you would have seen him pull away in horror.”

“Yeah I know.” I mumbled, putting my head in my hands, knowing that the guys were right and that Brian had been totally innocent that night. I knew what had happened and I couldn’t hold it against him. He wouldn’t do something like that. It just wasn’t his style. 

Murr started to say something else but I decided that I was done talking about it and reached into my purse for a dollar. “Can we not talk about it anymore?” 

I stood up and made towards the juke box, missing the look they gave each other. I put in my money and put on some upbeat tunes on and decided that I was going to have a good night and forget about everything if it killed me.

 

The drinking itself wouldn’t kill me but the headache that I felt as soon as I opened my eyes the next morning just might. I woke to the smell of bacon and opened my eyes to see that I was at Sal’s. As my mind ran over the events of last night I vaguely remembered a conversation about Brian and then things got blurry. 

Remembering that I was drinking Iced Teas I realise that it was no surprise. The bar was renowned for its lethal cocktails, it was why we had always loved it there. A few cocktails and you were on your way. It meant you could kick back without having to spend too much, which at college came in handy.

“Good morning sunshine.” Sal grinned coming to stand inside the door of his spare room. “I thought you might need these.”

He handed me a couple of aspirin and a glass of cold water and I chugged them down gratefully. “Thanks Sal.” I said after downing the water and putting the glass on the bedside table. “What time is it?”

“11.” He answered, shaking his head in mock disgust. “Feel up to a sandwich?”

I nodded and he chucked me a robe from the back of the door. “Come on then.”

We sat around the kitchen table listening to the radio while we ate our sandwiches and drank coffee. Neither of us felt the need to say anything until I remembered that the awards were now less than a week away. 

“Got a suit yet?” I asked him, knowing that he would know what I was talking about.

“Sure have,” he told me. “My sister dragged me shopping.”

I laughed. “That must have been fun.” 

He grimaced and shook his head. He was just like Brian, both of them hated shopping. I wondered how they got by only ordering stuff online. 

Just then we heard a knock at the door and Sal jumped up. “I need the bathroom. Can you get that?”

I nodded and headed towards the door, pulling the robe tight around me in case it was a delivery man.

I opened the door and came face to face with Brian. 

“Hey.” he exclaimed. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“We were out drinking last night so I crashed here.” I told him. 

Brian walked past me and took a seat at the kitchen table, reaching out to pinch some bacon that was left.

“What happened to your big date?” he asked curiously around a mouthful. 

I shrugged and shook my head. “I told you I don’t want to talk about Jake.” 

His eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything and the room suddenly filled with tension until Sal walked back in.

“Hey bro.” he said seeing Brian sat at the table.

“Thought we might go and catch a ball game seeing as it is such a nice day.” Brian suggested. 

Sal looked out of the window and nodded, before turning to me. “Up for it?” he asked.

I looked at Brian to see him smiling at me and decided that a day in the sun watching a ball game with them sounded like fun.

“Sure.” I nodded. “I need to go home and change though.” 

Brian nodded and stood up, pulling his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll run you over while Sal gets dressed.” 

“I could grab a cab if it’s easier.” I suggested not wanting to take advantage.

Brian laughed and pushed me towards the spare room. “Go get some clothes on.” He urged me. 

Deciding not to push it I walked back into the spare room and pulled on some jeans and my t-shirt and rooted around for my shoes, remembering that they would be by the door as Sal didn’t like people wearing shoes in the house. I grabbed my bag and walked back out of the bedroom to find Brian sitting alone in the kitchen, looking wistfully out of the window.

“Ready?” I asked.

He nodded and jumped up, walking in front of me to open the door for me. I walked underneath his arm and smiled in thanks as I made my way over to his jeep.   
He climbed in and started the engine, motioning to the stereo, telling me that I could put on anything I wanted. I nodded and started to go through the playlist, noticing that there was still a lot of my stuff on there. Trying to find something that he couldn’t read anything into I come across an old rap album and stuck it on, turning to watch him pull out of the street.

“Where to?” he asked. 

I remembered that he didn’t yet know where I lived now and quickly told him the address, sitting back and winding down the window to let in some fresh air. I couldn’t help but watch him as he drove, his mouth moving as he rapped along with the song. He looked so capable behind the wheel, I had always loved to watch him drive. I remembered the many hours we had spent in here, driving to new places every chance we got, looking for adventure and new things to see and do. We had always had so much fun together. 

“What you thinking about?” he asked suddenly. 

“What a nice day it is.” I told him, the lie slipping easily from my tongue.

“Liar.” He stated turning to wink at me. 

I blushed and turned the music up to signal that I didn’t want to talk and looked out at the window, making sure to keep my eyes away from his. 

It wasn’t long before we pulled up at my apartment and I realised that I would have to invite him in.

“Come on.” I told him opening the car door. “You can wait inside while I shower.”

We headed up to my apartment and I opened the door ushering him inside before kicking off my shoes and heading towards my bedroom through to the bathroom.

“Make yourself at home.” I said, watching as he examined his surroundings. 

I was no time at all getting ready and was soon showered and dressed. I looked in the mirror at my denim shorts and old t-shirt. Running my hands through my hair so that it would dry straight I grabbed my sunglasses and headed back into the front room to see that Brian had walked through to the kitchen. He had opened one of the drawers in which I had stuffed all of the old pictures of us together. 

While I didn’t want them up on the walls I had found myself unable to throw them out so had put them away and thrown one of my old scarves on top of them.   
Brian was looking down at one of my favourite pictures of us, taken at a family party. It had been summer at the time and all of us at the party had ended up having a massive water fight. In the picture we were both soaked through to the skin and had our arms thrown around each other as Brian shook water out of his hair while I howled with laughter. 

“That was a fun day.” He said, more to himself than to me. 

I went and stood next to him and gently took the picture out of his hands before putting it back into the drawer. 

“I know.” I agreed. “Remember when Joe fell into the pool?” 

Brian laughed and turned to look at me. “Who could forget? His face was such a picture.”

I motioned towards the door. “Ready?”

Brian nodded and looked briefly around the room once more before walking past me to the front door. 

We were in the car again and heading back to Sal’s the next time either of us spoke. 

“Looking forward to the awards?” I asked him.

He shot me a quick smile before turning his attention back to the road. “Sure.” He told me. “You still going to be my date?”

I looked over at his profile and saw that while his voice was calm I could tell that he was slightly nervous. I itched to reach out and put my hand on his but resisted. 

“Of course I will.” I answered. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I saw his mouth curl into a grin and he reached over towards the stereo, turning up the volume slightly as one of his favourite tunes come on. “Good,” he replied. “It wouldn’t be the same without you there.”

“Well I am the original groupie after all.” I said smiling. 

As the words came out of my mouth I realised how they sounded and could have kicked myself. 

Brian’s eyes flicked briefly away from the road and met mine. “The one and only groupie.” He added as electricity crackled between us. 

Luckily it wasn’t long until we were back at Sal’s so I quickly climbed out of the car and shut the door behind me, walking around the car and back up to Sal’s door, not bothering to knock before walking inside.

As I heard an old Motown song coming from his bedroom I followed the music and found him doing his hair in front of the mirror. 

“Ready to get going?” I asked him. “Quinn is waiting in the car.”

He smiled at me in the mirror before putting down his comb and grabbing his wallet off of the bed. “Sure am.” He answered turning off the stereo. “Let’s get going.”

The game was like a hundred others we had come to. The only difference was that this time we got to sit in the VIP seats. The guys told me that it was better up here because they didn’t get as hassled by fans and I grinned and followed them, seeing that these seats afforded the best view in the house. 

As we grabbed some beers and took our seats I tilted my head up and let the sun warm my skin. 

“It’s such a nice day.” I muttered contentedly as the sun washed over me. 

“Sure is.” Sal agreed throwing his arm onto the seat behind me and briefly squeezing my shoulder. “It wasn’t the same without you.”

“Yeah,” Brian agreed with a grin. “No-one else ever manages to finish off three whole giant hot-dogs to themselves.” 

I swatted at his shoulder as Sal started laughing. “That was one time.” I said, laughing along with them. “I was hungover. You know how hungry I get when I am hungover.”

The game was a good one and we turned out attention to the players on the field as the crowd around us cheered and chanted. 

Brian had just got up to get more beers when Sal turned to me.

“You ok?” he checked.

“I can’t believe I left it a whole year.” I said reaching for his hand. “I forgot how much I missed all this.” 

“The hot-dogs here are pretty good.” He cracked. 

I laughed and shook my head. “Seriously though.” I told him. “I feel like such an idiot.”

Sal squeezed my hand and smiled down at me. “Don’t worry about it.” He replied. “Just don’t run off again.”

Noticing that Brian was heading back down the stairs I nodded and grinned at him quickly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

It was still warm when the ball game finished so we decided that we would get pizza and eat in the garden back at Brian’s so that he didn’t have to drive again and could have a drink. I ran into the store and grabbed the beers while the guys ordered food so that it would be delivered soon after we got there.

We were soon at his place and as I walked in I wondered if anything had changed since I had moved out. I didn’t have to wonder for long as we walked in and I saw that nothing much had changed. I noticed with a pang of sadness that the only real thing that was different was the fact that the many pictures of me had been replaced by pictures of the guys meeting various celebrities. 

I caught Brian’s eye and he shrugged, heading towards the kitchen to put the beers in the fridge to keep cold. I sighed, realising that it was silly to think that he would have wanted a reminders of me around this whole time while I had been gone. 

Just then the door buzzer went so I grabbed my purse and went to the door, quickly paying the delivery man and taking the pizza through to the kitchen, where Brian was grabbing plates and Sal was fiddling with the radio. 

We took everything outside and settled around the garden table and started to eat, enjoying the last rays of sunshine streaming down on us. I thought I would feel weird being back in the house I had shared with him but it felt nice. I had missed it here.

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Sal asked around a mouthful of pizza. “Movie?”

I looked at Brian and saw him look over at me while nodding. “You in?” he asked me.

Knowing that all I had at home was half a bottle of cheap red wine and a mediocre book I decided that I would love nothing more than chilling out with the guys in front of a film.

“Sure.” I agreed. “What we watching?” 

“Something scary.” Brian decided looking over at me with a grin, knowing that I loved horror movies.

Sal groaned and shook his head. “You two and your horror films.” 

Brian shot me a smile before reaching over for another slice of pizza. 

By the time we had finished with dinner it was starting to get dark so we took the rubbish inside and settled in front of the tv. Brian only had one massive couch that was positioned in front of the flat screen so the guys sat on either side and I settled in between them. I looked up at the movie posters that decorated the walls and remembered picking them out from the store. It seemed like so long ago.

We ended up watching the original Halloween but after turning off the lights and getting comfortable I let the movie fade into the background as my eyes started to grow heavy. Eventually I gave into it and shut my eyes, feeling Brian pull me so that I was nestled underneath his arm as I stretched my legs so that they fell over Sal’s lap.

The film was still on an hour later when I woke up and heard the guys talking softly.

“I don’t know what to do Sal.” I heard Brian whisper. "It's amazing having her back but I can't deal with just being her friend."

Realising that they were talking about me I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even.

“Give her time.” Sal replied, his hands resting on my legs. “She will come round.”

“Do you really think it is over between her and that Jake guy?” 

“I think so.” Sal told him. “I mean she was supposed to be out on a date with him yet she came out with me and Murr so something must have happened right?”

Brian sighed and lifted his hand to start stroking my hair. It made me sleepy and I shifted to get more comfortable before the guys voices faded into the background and once again I fell to sleep. 

Next thing I knew I felt someone shaking me and I opened my eyes to see Sal looking down at me. 

“Hey sleepy, it’s past midnight.” He whispered. “You crashing here or you want to grab a cab home?” 

I rubbed my eyes and pulled myself up so that I was sitting. Brian was not in the room. 

“I better go home.” I decided. “Work tomorrow after all.”

I had just got to my feet when Brian walked back into the room. Seeing me reaching for my bag he smiled sadly. “You heading off?” 

I nodded and looked over at Sal. “You coming too?” 

“Think I’m going to stay.” He told me. “Want us to walk you to a cab?” 

I shook my head and smiled up at both of them. After checking I had everything I had brought with me I looked at them both and couldn’t resist reaching up to give them a hug.

I threw my arms around Sal and then walked over to Brian, looking up at him as his arms snaked around my back. It felt so good to be in his arms. I remembered the two of them talking while the film was on but couldn’t quite grasp the memory before it slipped out of my mind. 

“Today has been wonderful.” I told Brian as I stepped back out of his arms. 

He looked down at me and nodded. “I know.” He agreed. 

“I’ll see you in the week.” I added, making my way towards the door. 

As I pulled it open I took one look back at them and waved before headed towards the main road to hail a taxi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's only a short chapter. I've been busy. I will update in the next few days. Let me know what you all think :)


	5. Chapter 5

I met the guys for the morning meeting a couple of days later and was glad to see that things between me and Brian now felt really comfortable. While I couldn’t help sneaking glances at him when he wasn’t looking there seemed to be no awkwardness between us at all. It was incredible having them all back in my life and I was just enjoying spending so much time with them again. I was trying not to think about anything more at the minute and happened to think that I was doing a pretty good job of it.

Things with Jake on the other hand were not great. We had run into each other at work several times but things were really strained and I could tell that he was actually pretty mad at me. I knew I should have explained but right now, with the awards coming up and a heavy workload I couldn’t afford to spend much time thinking about it so I grit my teeth and figured that for the time being at least I was going to have to grin and bear it.

The next week flew by and before I knew it the morning of the awards was upon us and I was sitting in the guy’s offices going over the plan for tonight.

“So we will get you last from your apartment seeing as it is nearest.” Sal said again, making sure that we all had everything straight.

“Do we really have to go in a limo?” Brian asked taking a sip of his coffee. “It seems kind of showy.”

Joe stood up and went to stand behind him, slapping the back of his head gently. “We are up for an award.” He reminded him. “We have got to act the part.”

Sal and Murr chorused their agreement and Brian shot them a wry smile, conceding his defeat.

“And everyone is all sorted with what they are wearing and such?” I checked.

The guys nodded and an image of Brian in the suit in the changing room flooded my mind. I felt my cheeks colour and took a deep breath but I caught Brian watching me, a smile playing at his lips. 

“You found something to wear?” he asked me grinning. I could tell that he knew what I was thinking.

I stood up and walked towards the door, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. 

“I have my dress ready and pressed.” I told him with a smile. “Now I need to get back to work to pay for it.”

The guys laughed and waved me out and told me that they would see me later.

As I stepped out onto the pavement I couldn’t help smiling and started to feel excited. It was going to be a good night whatever happened, if they won all the better.

The day of the awards dawned and as expected it dragged on and on as I kept checking the clock only to see the hands move around the clock face so slowly I thought that I would burst until finally it was time for me to leave and head home to get ready.

I walked into the house and looked at the time, figuring I had 2 hours to kill before the limo would be here to pick me up. 

I decided on a bath and ran the tub, filling it with scented bubbles that would hopefully help to relax me. I poured a large glass of my favourite wine and took it through to the bathroom with me. The room was humid and filled with the scent of jasmine and I took a few deep breaths to settle my jagged nerves. 

I put a relaxing play list of the stereo and quickly stripped off, stepping into the bath and wincing at the temperature. Thinking ahead I wondered if the guys would actually win, I mean they were up against some really good and funny shows but there was no denying how big ‘Impractical Jokers’ had become. You couldn’t move without seeing billboards and adverts with their faces on and I had even seen a fair few people wearing slogan tees from the show. 

I was surprised after spending time with them over the last couple of weeks that their lives had actually not changed that much. Bar the fact that they now worked together and didn’t really have to worry about money now they were still the same bunch of guys and I felt foolish for assuming that fame would change them. I should have known that they were not the type to become arrogant and it was nice to see that most things were still the same and that they were still the same down to earth boys that I had gone to school with. 

After lazing in the bath for a while listening to music, letting my thoughts go over the past I saw that I now only had just over an hour to get ready so I quickly washed and stepped out of the tub, wrapping the fluffiest towel I had around my body and padding through to my bedroom, smiling as I caught sight of my dress hanging at the front of the wardrobe. 

50 minutes later I looked in the mirror and allowed myself a smile. I had gone all out and it had paid off.

The expensive dress was blood red, the luxurious silk clinging to my every curve. It had 2 fine spaghetti straps holding it up and ended just above my knee. I had dropped a lot of money on it as it was by one of my favourite designers and I had dug out my one and only pair of black Louboutin’s to go with it. My make-up had taken a while but it was worth it. I had heavily lined eyes, pale grey eyeshadow and blood red lips to match the dress. My hair had taken even longer and I ran my hand through it to fluff it out and gave it another blast of hairspray. I had managed to tame it into an old school 50’s style and the curls had shortened my hair so that it sat just below my chin. 

I couldn’t help feeling sentimental and rifled through my jewellery box until I come across a simple silver chain that Brian had bought me way back when from an old antique store. I added diamond hoops and a black clutch and reached for my drink to take one last sip. I had decided to head downstairs and wait to avoid having to run down the stairs in my heels but as I turned towards the door I heard a car horn let out one sharp blast.

Grinning to myself I headed downstairs as slowly as I could and walked towards the glass double doors to see Brian climbing out of the limo.

My heart started to pound as I got a good look at him and my throat once again went dry. He looked incredible. The suit clung to his frame and he had sort of slicked his hair back so that it fell artfully around his face. He had decided to go without a tie and his collar was unbuttoned, lending him an air of mystery. I had never seen him look so good.

As he looked up to see me step out of the doors his eyes went wide and I broke into a grin. It wasn’t until he came to stand in front of me that I noticed that he was carrying a single red rose. His eyes landed at my throat and he reached out to finger the dainty silver chain that hung around my neck. 

“Nice touch.” He said looking up at me. 

I couldn’t think of anything to say so merely leaned over and dropped a kiss onto his cheek, reaching down to grab hold of his lapels as I looked up into his eyes and the air around us crackled.

“You look incredible.” He told me, openly staring down at me. “You are so beautiful.”

I took a step back and grinned as he offered me his arm. “Look who’s talking.” I replied. 

Just then the limo door opened and Murr leaned out. “Let’s get to stepping.” He shouted impatiently. 

Brian grinned down at me. “Ready?” 

I nodded and let him lead me towards the car. “As I’ll ever be.”

I climbed inside and saw that I wasn’t the only one that had gone all out. With the guys all smart and suave in their suits and Bessy looking incredible in a floor length black number I couldn’t resist taking my phone out of my clutch and getting them to sit together.

“We need to remember this moment.” I told them. “Move closer together so I can get you all in.” 

Sal reached out and grabbed me, pulling me towards them as they huddled together and took the phone off of me so that he could take the picture of us selfie style.

“Don’t think you are getting away without being in it.” He grinned at me. “You are family.”

He snapped a bunch of pictures and handed me back my phone before reaching over to a cabinet in the back of the car and bringing out a massive bottle of champagne. 

“Let’s start as we mean to go on.” He said pouring us 6 glasses and handing them around.

I looked around at us and couldn’t help my eyes fill with tears. “To you guys and your continued success.” I announced, struggling not to get choked up.

Murr noticed and pulled me into a hug. “Don’t start yet.” He told me with a chuckle. “We may not even win.”

I glanced over to see that Bessy was looking at me and I saw that she too had eyes filled with tears. This was a big moment and we both knew it. 

It wasn’t long before we were at the venue and I looked out of the windows as we pulled up and saw that there were hundreds of people lining the pavements.  
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed seeing how many people had turned up. “This is amazing.”

The guys all came over in front of the windows to take a look as the car slowed down and we heard the crowd cheering around us. 

The car came to a stop and I patted all the guys on the shoulder as they headed to make their way outside. As Brian looked at me before heading towards the door I could tell that even though he was trying to hide it that he was nervous so I shot him a wink. 

“You’ve got this.” I told him quietly so that no-one else could hear.

He nodded and smiled back at me before following the guys, climbing out the door and instantly lifting his hand up in a salute to the crowd as the fans around them went wild. 

Me and Bessy watched fondly as they soaked up the atmosphere and grinned and waved at the fans, posing for photos in front of a bunch of paparazzi for a few minutes before coming back to the car. Joe held his hand out and Bessy climbed out. Next came Brian and he held out his hand, smiling down at me as I put my hand in his and stepped out of the car. I heard flashbulbs explode all around us and leaned into his ear as we made our way down the red carpet.

“This is insane!” I said excitedly.

Just then someone called his name and he turned to pose for a photo, making sure that I remained standing by his side with him even as I tried to move away. He tightened his arm around my shoulder, pulling me even closer as the photographers around us went wild. I looked up at him to see him grinning out at them, realising that this was the biggest moment of his career to date. I felt my eyes fill with tears once again as I realised that I had nearly missed this moment. Right now there was no-one else I would rather be than right by his side.

As the flashes died down he took my hand and we made our way over to the others before the guys attention was caught by a bunch of fans holding out posters with their faces on. They headed towards them to sign some autographs leaving me and Bessy to talk amongst ourselves.

“This is all so exciting.” Bessy said clutching onto my arm, watching the guys mess around with the fans. “You and Brian look amazing together by the way.”

I smiled, letting my gaze wander over to where Brian was currently posing for selfies with some teenage girls. “I really hope they win.” I told her. “It would mean so much.”

We watched for a few minutes as the guys posed for photos with the fans and I tried not to stare at the celebrities walking past us into the venue.  
The guys soon came back and Brian took my arm and led me towards the doors that would take us inside. As soon as we got inside the guys turned to each other, smiles wide and joined together for a group hug. 

“We made it guys.” I heard Murr whisper. 

I felt my eyes fill with tears but blinked them away, remembering the time all those years ago when they came up with the concept and decided that this was what they wanted to do. Now here we were stood, at the MTV awards, waiting to see if they won an actual award. Who knew it would go this far? I couldn’t be prouder and was grateful that I had come back into their lives just in time to share this with them.

As the guys broke apart they came over to us and I couldn’t help reaching for Brian’s hands as we walked towards the auditorium. All around me were people that I had only ever seen at the movies or on music videos and even though I often met celebrities at work I couldn’t help feeling star-struck at the amount of well-known faces around me.

This was a big deal and I knew that this was only the start for the guys. They had worked hard to get where they were and deserved every second of their success, it really could not have happened to a better bunch of guys.

We had time to get drinks at the bar and I gratefully took the cocktail that Joe handed me, feeling my nerves start to kick in.

“You nervous yet?” I asked Brian as he came to stand next to me with his whisky, taking a long drink of the cocktail I was holding.

“Not really.” He told me, surprising me. “If we win, we win. If we don’t, well it’s still a big deal to be nominated.”

I should have known that he would take all of this in his stride. He had always been the laid back one out of the 4 of them, outwardly at least. As he took in his surroundings and looked at the many stars around us he radiated calm.

After a few minutes standing and chatting and trying not to stare at all the people around us, we decided to go and take our seats and headed through to the main hall, where people were starting to file into the chairs that had been set out in rows, most of them labelled with the names of people that should be sitting there.  
Murr found where we were seated and I took my seat between Sal and Brian. 

We made small talk for a while, all of us pretty overwhelmed with all of this, until less than half an hour later the lights went down and the crowd started to cheer.  
I had seen the awards a hundred times on television and knew that the award for Best Comedy Show would be pretty early up so we wouldn’t have long to wait. There were a couple of performances and a couple of awards before but it felt like mere minutes later when the presenter announced that Steve Carrell would be presenting the next award and I knew that this was it.

As Steve Carrell walked onto the stage I felt my palms get clammy.

“Here we go!” Bessy whispered excitedly, grabbing for Joe’s hand. 

The nominees were read out and clips of each of the shows were played on a giant screens all over the auditorium and I noticed Brian stiffen beside me as their faces appeared on it. I looked up at his face to see that he was biting his lip so I reached for his hand, unsurprised to find it just as clammy as mine.  
As the applause died down after all of the nominees had been read out, Steve Carrell opened the envelope and pulled it out. His eyes flicked down to it and I saw him break into a smile. 

“The winners are…” he started, looking up at the crowd and pausing. “The hilarious… Impractical Jokers.”

The crowd around us erupted and I felt Brian squeeze my hand for a second before jumping to his feet. He still had a hold of my hand and pulled me up with him before turning to me and throwing his arms around me.

Before I had chance to realise what was happening his lips crashed down on mine and the applause around us faded into the background as I was reminded how good it felt to kiss him for the first time in over a year. It only lasted a few seconds but when he let me go I was dazed and I looked up to see him smiling down at me before him and the guys started to file out towards the stage. 

Bessy came to stand next to me and grabbed on to my hand as we watched them walk up on to the stage, where they were all warmly embraced by Steve Carrell as the crowd roared on. I saw him say something to Joe, who cracked up laughing before taking the award that he was holding out. 

Joe was the first to the podium and he looked over at Bessy before grinning out at the audience.

“Wow!” He told the crowd looking down at the statue in his hands. “We really didn’t expect this. We didn’t even prepare a speech. Thanks so much!”

Murr was next to the podium and grinned widely out at the crowd before taking the award off of Joe and holding it up into the air. “For everyone that voted… Thank you so much.” He said happily. ‘We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you amazing fans.”

Sal was next and took the statue before coming to stand in front of the microphone. “To our team, we are eternally grateful to have such great people around us, you made of all this possible. To our families and friends, thanks for supporting us through all this madness. We love you all more than you could know.”

As Brian came to the podium and took the statue I held my breath as he looked out at me. “Ashley.” He said, his voice reverberating around the stadium. “You were there from the beginning. You are our 5th Joker. We love you.”

I felt my eyes fill with tears and couldn’t contain them as all the guys looked over at me and smiled, Joe coming to the microphone again and taking hold of it and motioning towards us. “This is for you Bessy. I love you.”

The crowd went wild again as they filed down the stairs and came back to our seats and I walked into the aisle towards them and let them pull me and Bessy into a giant embrace. Everyone around us was cheering and I smiled as Brian looked down at me.

“I’m so glad you are here.” He admitted grinning. “It wouldn’t have been the same without you.” 

I smiled, wiping at the tears that were now pouring down my cheeks. “Me too.” I replied. “I am so proud of you.” 

We took our seats again and the rest of the show passed quickly, celebrities filing onto the stage to collect their awards, the atmosphere around us electric. It seemed like minutes later when we found ourselves heading back out to the lobby. The guys were mobbed as Bessy and I trailed behind them, basking in their success and smiling as endless people approached them and offered their congratulations. We hadn’t made it far when the guys were asked to head backstage to pose for some official pictures so we followed behind them and waited.

It all seemed like a dream as I looked around us and saw people that were at the top of their game, realising that this was the start of something huge. The guys were doing well and the show was popular and all but up until now they hadn’t received any awards and I knew that this meant that things were only going to get bigger.  
Breaking me out of my thoughts I felt Sal’s hand on my arm and looked up to see him smiling at me.

“Can you believe this?” he exclaimed. 

I laughed and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so proud of you. I love you all so much.” 

All of a sudden Brian appeared at our side. “We have been asked to attend the official after-party.” He told us grinning. “You game?” 

I pulled out of Sal’s embrace and looked up at him incredulously. “Are you kidding?” I grinned. “Let’s go.” 

I saw Bessy, Joe and Murr grinning behind us and let Brian take my hand as he led me back outside to find the limo. 

We found the car in no time at all and climbed into the backseat, deciding to finish off the champagne we had opened earlier as we chatted excitedly. 

“Can you fucking believe this?” Brian said to everyone, pulling me towards him so that I was nested under his arm. 

“I knew you were going to win.” Bessy announced confidently, dropping a kiss on Joe’s lips. “I’m so proud of you all.”

“Let’s celebrate and make this a night we will never forget.” Murr decided, draining his glass and reaching over for a refill. 

We all chorused our agreement and got ready for a wild night. The champagne bottle was empty by the time we got to the club and we were all feeling pretty giddy as I looked out of the car windows to see that the street outside the club was packed with photographers once again. 

“Time to party.” Sal told us as the car came to a stop. 

Brian grinned at me and took a hold of my hand as the door opened and a security guard from the club came to escort us inside. 

We quickly made our way inside and Brian kept me close to his side as we headed though the doors and away from the view of the paparazzi as flashbulbs popped around us.

I gaped as we walked into the club and I looked around at the poshest and most expansively decorated nightclub that I had ever seen in my life. I looked around at the others and saw that they were just as amazed as me. There were scantily dressed hostesses running around with trays packed with drinks as the celebrity elite let their hair down all around us.

“Some party.” I heard Joe exclaim. 

“Only the best for our guests.” A hostess announced, suddenly appearing next to us. “I’ll take you to your seats.”

We were led to a large booth and I tried in vain not to stare as I looked around us and eyed the many famous faces surrounded us.

“I’ll be your hostess for the evening.” The pretty girl told us. “My name is Bella. If you want anything just give me a shout. I won’t be far.” 

With that she left us to it and we all settled around the table, noticing that there were already several of bottles of expensive looking champagne open waiting for us.  
I reached over and grabbed a bottle and started filling glasses before handing them around. “Let’s get this party started.” I said, lifting my glass in the air in a salute. “To the best bunch of guys I know.” 

It didn’t take us long to get in the mood and less than an hour later we were all buzzed and I was surprised to see that several of the famous faces around us had actually come over to congratulate the guys and tell them that they were fans.

One of these well-wishers had just gone when I decided that I could do with some fresh air. It was hot in here and I knew that I would soon get dizzy if I didn’t do something about it soon. I stood up and took a deep breath, looking around to see if I could find an exit. 

“Going to get some air?” Brian asked, seeing me looking around and guessing what I was doing. “Want me to come with?”

I nodded gratefully and he stood up next to me, taking my hand and leading me towards a courtyard towards the back of the room. We were just making our way past the dancefloor when I felt an arm reach out and grab my hand. 

I looked up to see that it was Jake.

“Hi!” I exclaimed, surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?” 

“Client,” he explained, motioning towards the booths. “Shocked to see me are you? I’m surprised that you thought about me at all.” 

He reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out, swiping the screen and jabbing at the screen a few times before showing it to me. 

I looked at the screen and saw that it was one of the pictures of me and Brian taken when we were heading into the awards, from one of the celebrity gossip sites. In it Brian had his arm wrapped around my waist and I was looking adoringly up at him. There was no disguising my feelings; they were plain for all to see.

“Want to take things slow, huh?” he spat out. “Nothing to do with Q, huh?”

He swayed on his feet and I realised all of a sudden that he was drunk. He moved closer and I could smell the liquor on his breath.

“Jake, it’s complicated all right?” I apologised, relieved that Brian was right behind me. “I’m sorry, ok?”

He swiped a glass of champagne off of a passing waiter and looked at me, his face twisting into a bitter smile.

“I should have known.” He told me downing the champagne and placing the empty glass down on a table beside us. “I knew you were a fucking cock tease.”

Brian had been quiet up until then but all of a sudden his hand shot out as if from nowhere and grabbed Jake's arm. 

“Look buddy.” He said quietly, his tone angry. “She said she was sorry. Now just back off.”

Jake laughed and shook his head. “Fuck off, joker.” He told him shrugging out of Brian’s grasp. With that he reached out towards me but Brian was faster and grabbed his arm again before he could touch me. 

Brian twisted his arm painfully and pulled him towards him before leaning into his ear.

“If we weren’t surrounded by people then I would put you down.” He told Jake quietly, his eyes shooting daggers. “I told you to fuck off. I suggest you take my advice.”

With that he let him go and took my hand and pulled me past him before Jake could say another word.

He didn’t stop walking until we were stood in the courtyard, relieved to see that there were only a handful of other people stood getting some fresh air and sitting on the plush garden furniture around us.

“What a jack ass.” He said, running a hand through his hair and turning to face me. “What the hell were you thinking Ashley?”

I looked up at him and shrugged, not knowing what to say.

“Seriously.” He went on. “What’s with that guy?” 

“He’s usually not like that.” I said shaking my head. “I’ve never really seen him drunk before.” 

Brian shrugged and reached over to put his hands on my shoulders. “I don’t want to let him ruin tonight ok?” he said softly. “I want this night to be about us.”  
I smiled up at him gratefully and nodded. “It’s forgotten.” 

We decided to head back into the club and found that the others were all on the dancefloor. Brian took my hand and we watched smiling as they threw their bodies around to the beat. We were just about to join them when the song ended and a much slower number came over the giant speakers.

Brian looked down at me, a questioning look on his face, so I nodded and let him lead me onto the dancefloor, where he pulled me close. I leaned my head on his shoulder and breathed in the familiar smell of him, unable to deny how good it felt to be back in his embrace.

“Feels so good to have you back in my arms.” He whispered, echoing the thoughts running through my head.

I don’t know whether it was the drink or something else but I looked up at him and nodded, suddenly forgetting every reason I had for us not to be together. After a whole year of being apart I let myself remember how good it felt to be in his arms and tilted my head up towards his. 

As always he could tell what I was thinking and didn’t waste a second in bending down to brush his lips against mine tenderly. As our lips met his arms reached up into my hair and ran through the silky strands, pulling me even closer to him as his tongue flicked out and ran along my bottom lip. Within mere seconds I was panting and I felt my heart pounding as his breath washed over me. 

“I’ve missed that.” I murmured, resting my head in the crook of his neck.

He leaned back until he was able to look into my eyes and I saw his lips curve into a grin. “I’ve been dreaming about this moment for the last year.” He told me, his eyes boring into mine. “I’ve missed you so much.”

All of a sudden I realised that the song had changed and that people were now moving their bodies to a sultry R’n’B beat but still we were stood swaying slowly in each others arms.

“Come on.” I said stepping out of his arms and taking his hand. “Let’s head back.”

We approached the table where the others were sat drinking and I knew instantly from the look on their faces that they had seen us on the dancefloor. 

“Where you guys been?” Sal asked grinning.

Brian dropped a kiss on my cheek before sitting back down in the booth and pulling me down next to him. He reached over and grabbed a couple of the beers that had appeared on the table and handed me one, which I drank from gratefully. 

“What’s the matter Ash?” Joe chipped in. “You look a little flushed.”

The others laughed and I couldn’t help but join in, the alcohol flowing around my bloodstream, my heart still pounding from the kiss that me and Brian had shared.

“Cut it out guys.” Brian laughed. 

I looked round the table to see them all smiling our way as Sal poured out a round of shots from the bottle of tequila he had asked for and the rest of the night passed in a blur of laughter, drinking and dancing. 

I had no idea what time it was when we all piled outside and climbed into the limo. I was more than a little unsteady on my feet but Brian didn’t stray from my side as he led me into the car and I felt him pull me into his lap and fold him arms around me. The last thing I remember is sliding my arms around him and nestling into his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last but one chapter. Hope you are all liking it. Keep the comments coming and let me know what you think :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter guys. Major fluff and a bit of smut thrown in for good measure :)

I opened my eyes and the first thing I noticed was that Brian was sprawled next to me, wearing just a pair of boxers and a shirt. I vaguely remembered the two of us being dropped off here, stumbling inside and falling onto the covers drunkenly.

I looked towards the curtains, noticing that it was still dark and looking at the digital clock on the bedside table I saw that it was 4am. Desperate for a drink I climbed off the bed and padded through the darkness to the kitchen, where I poured myself a glass of water from the tap.

As the water slid down my throat and quenched my thirst I poured another glassful and took it back through to the bedroom with me where I put it on the table within easy reach.

Turning to look at Brian I saw that he was snoring gently and couldn’t help but let a smile tug at my lips. For all that had happened he was still the same guy that I had fallen for all those years ago. My first and only love. The guy that I had dreamed about spending the rest of my life with. It was becoming impossible to deny what was between us but a small part of me was still scared. I knew that things were going to be crazy for the guys now after the awards and I worried again that things wouldn’t work out. 

As I watched him sleeping he turned over and reached for me and when he didn’t find me his face creased into a frown and his body tensed up. My heart ached as I thought of all the nights that had reached out only to find me not there. 

“Brian.” I whispered, my hand unable to resist running over the soft hair on his chin. “I’m here.”

His eyes fluttered open and when they landed on mine he sighed in relief, his body instantly relaxing.

“Please don’t leave me again.” He breathed, pulling me towards him, his voice so quiet I only just heard him.

As my body came to rest on top of his I put a finger to his lips.

“Don’t talk.” I shushed him, my lips finding his. 

The moment our lips connected all my worries drifted away. It was like coming home, as if the last year had been nothing but a bad dream and finally I was back where I belonged. As my lips parted and his tongue slid into my mouth I sighed in pleasure and wrapped my arms around him to pull him even closer.  
As my heart started to pound I pulled back to take a few deep breaths and looked down at the only man I had ever loved. I saw the same look in his eyes that I had seen all those years ago when we kissed for the very first time, only if it was possible I loved him even more.

His lips drifted down past my mouth and he nipped gently at the skin, trailing a path down to my neck, until he got there and tenderly kissed the spot where my pulse was racing. His kisses and caresses were sending jolts of electricity down between my legs and already I was grinding against his thigh, trying to find some much needed friction as my nails raked a path up and down his arms. 

I felt him pull away from me only to turn us around so that all of a sudden I found myself underneath him, looking up at him breathlessly from underneath my lashes.  
He smiled wickedly as he ran a hand through my hair and down the side of my face, down past my collar bone until he got to my chest, which was heaving as my breath rasped out of me in pants.

His hand never left my body for a second as he reached down even further and ran his hands down my dress. Soon enough he reached the hem and pulled it slowly up my body until my knickers and stomach were revealed to him. His eyes followed his hands and his gaze burned into me, my core clenching with need.  
Impatient to move things along, I pulled myself out of his reach and grabbed the dress myself, pulling it quickly over my head before throwing it carelessly to the floor. As soon as I was done with that I reached over towards Brian and pulled his shirt up over his head, in too much of a hurry to feel my skin against his to bother with the buttons. 

I quickly threw it in the same direction of my dress and turned to let my eyes scan his body, the body I had missed so much over the last year. I then hurriedly reached up to pull him back down on top of me, revelling in the feeling of having his skin against mine after all this time.

His passion matched mine and our kisses became urgent, my hand reaching up to run through his hair and tug gently in the way that I knew that he liked. He responded with a growl and his hands roamed my body until they settled at my breasts and I arched my body up so that he could palm even more of me, his touch making me shiver all over and cause my body to break out in little goose pimples.

I was desperate for him, my body yearning to be filled and after all the time we had spent apart all I could think about was feeling him inside me again. He was just as frenzied as me, desperate to remember how it felt to bury himself inside me and join us together again. I arched my hips up towards him to allow him to pull down my panties as I pulled down his boxers, our fingers stumbling slightly in their desperation.

Before his boxers had even hit the floor he was parting my legs and I watched as he took hold of his throbbing length and guided it towards my slick opening. He looked up at me, bottom lip in between his teeth in concentration as he slipped inside me and his mouth fell slack. He watched avidly as his cock disappeared until every inch of him was deep inside me.

As he settled himself fully to the hilt he tilted his head so that he could look at me and our eyes met. I knew right then that it was hopeless to try and stay away from him. The last year had been hell and I knew that no matter how many men I dated or met, I would never meet someone that made me feel the way he could. My body responded to his instinctively and clenched around him to pull him deeper.

His eyes bore into mine as he started to move himself out of me before sliding back inside me at a tortuously slow pace. Already I could feel my body quicken and I threw my head back and couldn’t help the moans escaping from my lips as a sheen of sweat covered my body and my hips ground up to meet his. 

He seemed to know that this wasn’t going to last long so straight away his pace increased and I felt his thrusts become harder and faster as he reached down to take my chin in his hand, pulling my face so that our eyes met as he slammed his cock in and out of me. 

As I felt myself hurtling towards my orgasm I saw his eyes close with the effort of holding his back. This alone was enough to push me over the edge and I let myself crest, my hands gripping on to his upper arms as he pistoned into my tight centre and the world exploded around me.

My body spiralled and I felt the room spin as I saw Brian bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself shouting out. I felt him spurt inside me as he fell over the edge before collapsing on top of me and lowering his head onto my shoulder. 

It could have been minutes or seconds later, I didn’t know or particularly care about time at this point, when I felt Brian shift on top of me, his cock slipping out of me before he moved to lay next to me. 

I turned to look at him to see him watching me, a smile playing at his lips. 

“I needed that.” He told me grinning, dropping a kiss on my shoulder. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

I returned his smile and slid closer to him, resting my head against his chest as my hand curled around his waist to pull him closer so that there wasn’t even an inch of space in between us. 

“I missed you too. The last year was hell for me.” I admitted looking up at him, wiping a bead of sweat from his upper lip.

“Let’s get some sleep.” He told me stroking my hair, knowing that this always sent me to sleep. “We can talk in the morning.” 

I let my eyes flutter closed and smiled into the darkness. I was asleep within minutes.

 

 

I opened my eyes and this time I knew it was morning, the light was streaming in through a crack in the curtains and I could hear traffic outside. Surprisingly, after all I had drunk last night I felt pretty good. As the events of last night came flooding back to me I let a smile curve my mouth.

“Morning beautiful.” Brian said from beside me. “I’ve missed waking up to that smile.”

I looked besides me to find him awake and leaning up on one elbow, watching me.

“Morning.” I replied, meeting his eyes shyly. 

“Last night was incredible.” He said, his eyes wandering over my body beneath the sheet.

I looked down to see that I was naked underneath the covers and my cheeks flushed with colour. I went to swing my legs out of bed but Brian reached over and took a hold of my wrist.

“Don’t overthink this Ash.” He told me. 

He was about to say something else when his phone rang. He groaned in frustration but reached down to the floor where he found his phone in the pocket of his trousers. 

Joe’s face was flashing up on the screen. 

“Hey bro.” Brian said answering the phone. “What’s up?”

He listened for a minute and then nodded, his eyes glancing over to where I was watching him. “Yeah, she’s here.”

He listened again and nodded. “Sure, see you later then.”

He put the phone back down on the bedside table and turned to me. 

“What was that about?” I asked.

“Party at Joe’s later to celebrate with the family.” He answered. “He said to head over at about 6. That ok?”

I nodded, looking on the floor to see if I could find my underwear. Not seeing it anywhere my cheeks coloured again and I realised that I was going to have to get out of bed naked. 

“Don’t tell me you are shy all of a sudden?” Brian asked, seeing my eyes scan the bedroom floor. 

I turned to see him grinning and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Do you not think I saw enough last night?” He reminded me, his eyebrows raised as he smiled wickedly.

I threw a pillow at him before jumping out of bed and grabbing for his shirt, hurriedly slipping it over my body to cover myself before grabbing my clothes and turning towards the bathroom.

 

I could still hear him laughing as I closed the door behind me and went to sit on the edge of the bathtub. 

As I looked into the mirror I saw that my hair was in disarray and my make-up was smudged. Standing up and walking towards the sink I splashed some water on myself and wiped the make-up off of my face before slipping out of Brian’s shirt and pulling my dress back on. 

Looking through the bathroom cabinet I saw that luckily there were still some of my old hair ties handy so I threw my hair into a messy bun and pulled the shirt back on before knotting it around my waist. I decided to brush my teeth and went to reach for Brian’s toothbrush only to be surprised to see mine still sat there next to his. I grabbed it and ran it under the cold tap and realised that he had clearly never given up hope that I would come back. Suddenly it wasn’t the drink making me feel retched, it was the hurt that I caused.

After brushing my teeth I felt a bit more human so with one last look in the mirror I headed back towards the bedroom, where I saw that Brian had thrown on some jeans. He was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me and as soon as I walked back into the room he held out his hands and gestured for me to go to him.

Taking a deep breath I walked over and took his hands, letting him pull me on top of him so that my legs were straddling his waist.

“Ashley last night was perfect.” He said passionately, looking into my eyes. “I don’t want to rush things but…”

I put a finger up to his lips to cut him off and leaned down to press my lips to his gently. “Then don’t, ok?” I said before he could say anything else. “You were right. Last night was perfect. Can we just leave it at that?”

Brian looked up to meet my eyes and saw the resolve there and gently pulled my finger away from his lips. 

“Promise you are not going to run again.” He said quietly, his eyes not leaving mine. 

I didn’t know what last night meant yet, I was going to just roll with it and see what happened but I knew with certainty that I could promise him this. “I won’t run again.” 

This was enough for him and he smiled up at me, reaching to run a hand down my cheek tenderly. “Want to go and get some breakfast?” 

I sighed in relief seeing that this seemed to be enough for now and nodded. 

 

The rest of the day was perfect. It was just like the old days, like no time had passed between us at all. Brian drove me over to my apartment and waited in front of the television while I jumped in the shower and changed. When I came out I saw that he was sitting looking through his phone and I instantly noticed that he had taken the picture of us that we had been looking at the other day and put it on top of the fireplace. 

We went for breakfast somewhere quiet and feasted on pancakes before deciding to catch a movie. It was easy to forget everything but the two of us on days like this and I was glad that he was not pushing me to talk about what last night meant. I was just loving having him back in my life and spending time together like we used to.

We were driving back to his apartment to chill out for a while before the party when he reached over to take my hand in his, pulling it up to his face so that he could drop a kiss on my knuckles.

“You going to bring your lot tonight?” he asked, referring to my mom and brothers. 

I grinned up at him and nodded. “Good idea. I’ll call them now.”

I pulled out my phone and called Damon and was surprised to see that Joe had already been in touch and that they had already been invited.

Brian told me that we could go and pick them up on the way so I told them that we would be over in a few hours to get them and that we would see them later. I could hear the smile in Damon’s voice as he hung up the phone.

“He excited?” Brian guessed.

“He can’t wait.” I told him fondly. “It will nice to be all together again.”

 

It was still warm so we had all the windows down as we drove over to get my mom and brothers. It was a beautiful day and I couldn’t help but smile as we pulled to a stop in front of my mom’s house. Brian jumped out of the car and ran around so that he could open the door for me.

I dropped a kiss on his cheek as I jumped out of the car and headed around to the side of the house to see that Damon and Julian were shooting hoops in the yard. They yelled out a greeting without stopping and Brian joined in, grabbing the ball off of Damon and making to throw the ball towards the hoop.

“I’ll go and get mom.” I called walking past them and into the house, hearing the guys moan as Brian managed to score.

I found my mom at the table painting her nails and was surprised when she looked up at me and her expression turned to one more serious.

“Come sit down Ash.”

“What’s up?” I asked, instantly beginning to worry that something was wrong.

“We need to talk.” She answered, her voice quiet. “I have been meaning to talk to you for a long time but I’ve been putting it off.”

“Mom, what’s going on?” I questioned, my face creasing into a frown.

“I know why you called things off with Brian before.” She told me bluntly. “It was because of me and your father.”

I went to open my mouth but she held a hand up to silence me. “I should have said something then but I knew that it would do no good.” She continued. “You have always been so stubborn.” 

With this she reached over, put her hand on mine and smiled fondly before carrying on.

“But you cannot live in fear sweetheart. Brian is crazy about you and I know you love him.” She said, meeting my gaze. “You deserve to be happy and cannot let the past and what has happened to me stop you from living a full life.”

I realised that my eyes had filled and closed them, trying to stop the flow of tears that I felt were coming.

I felt my mom’s arms snake around me and I leant into her embrace gratefully.

“I love you so much Ashley.” She whispered. “I want you to be happy. It’s time to stop being scared.”

I opened my eyes and saw that she was watching me, her eyes glassy. “Oh mom.” I sighed. “I’ve made such a mess of things haven’t I?”

All of a sudden we heard voices making their way towards the kitchen door signalling the guys were coming back inside.

“He is still here isn’t he?” she replied, her mouth curving into a grin as the boys walked through the door.

“Who is still here?” Julian asked curiously, seeing us sitting around the table, mom’s arm still around my shoulders.

“No-one dear.” she answered easily. “Are we ready to go?”

The guys nodded so mom and I stood up and I instinctively pulled her into my arms, leaning so that I could whisper into her ear.

“Thanks mom.” I told her smiling. “I love you.”

She shot me a smile and reached over to her bag, briefly glancing inside to see that she had everything she needed before looking back up at us all. “Let’s go.” 

 

We walked into Joe’s to see that the party was already well under way and that the house was already filled with people and laughter.

All the families were there and I let myself get swept up in the excitement, watching with a smile as my mom and brothers were welcomed back into the fold with open arms. 

After grabbing a couple of beers out of the fridge Brian came to stand beside me and took a hold of my hand, pulling me over to where his family were sat around chatting.

His brother noticed that we were holding hands and jumped up before throwing his arms around us. 

“About time!” he exclaimed excitedly. “I wondered when the two of you were going to get your act together.” 

I grinned as Brian’s parents jumped up to hug me and told me how great it was to see us together again. After the talk with my mom I couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, I knew it had taken a lot for her to talk to me and I realised that she had a point. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had been stupid to let the past hold me back and stop me living the life that I knew I wanted.

I had always loved Brian and knew that it was ridiculous for us to be apart just because I was scared of things going wrong. While there was no guarantee that things were going to work out, life was risk and I knew that we belonged together. 

I looked around the garden and knew that this was where I belonged. As Brian came to stand next to me his arm slid around my shoulders and I tilted my head up for a kiss. 

“I love you.” I told him passionately before his lips met mine. 

I saw his family avert their eyes as my arms snaked around his waist and pulled him even closer and the kiss deepened as my tongue flicked out to meet his.

“Guys!” Sal exclaimed suddenly appearing next to us. “Get a room.” 

We broke apart guiltily before looking up at Sal’s face, holding back laughter. 

“Does this mean that things are back to normal?” Murr asked, noticing us chatting and walking over to join us. 

I nodded and noticed that Brian, Murr and Sal were looking for Joe. One of them caught his eye and nodded and he came trotting over, coming to stand beside us before throwing an arm around my shoulders. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, watching them look at each other and nod. 

“Well…” Brian started. “We want you to work with us.” 

I looked up at him in confusion and shook my head. “I already do work with you.”

Joe smiled and ruffled my hair affectionately. “We mean be part of our team.” He explained. “For real.”

“We want you to quit at the agency.” Murr chipped in.

I looked up at them and saw them all watching me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

My mind run over my year at the firm and I realised that I did actually feel ready to leave. I had learnt a lot from Michael but realistically there was no room for me to move up any more and then there was the added bonus of not having to see Jake all the time. I knew that this was right and was not going to spend another second of my life denying myself the things that I wanted most.

My mouth curved into a smile and I took a deep breath before answering.

“I would love too.” I told them happily.

Before I knew it I was enclosed in their arms as they attempted to squeeze me to death and I couldn’t stop the happy laughter escaping from my lips.

“I told you she would say yes.” Sal said smugly as they all let me go, coming to stand next to me and put his arm around me.

“So I’m part of the team now?” I asked smiling.

“You have always been part of the team.” Joe answered reaching out to ruffle my hair again. “Now it’s official.”

I looked at the 4 of them stood around me and couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. Things were falling into place and I knew that this was exactly what should happen. There was no place else in the world that I would rather be than with the 4 of them and our families right now. 

We celebrated hard and an hour later I was playing a game with the kids of the lawn, when I heard Joe call out to everyone from the patio. I noticed that Sal, James and Brian went to stand with him, moving so that they were stood in a line as they waited for everyone to quiet down.

“We want to say thanks.” Joe started, his voice booming out. “We know that these last few years have been crazy and we couldn’t have done it without you all.”

We all cheered and held out drinks up in the air in a salute as Joe went on. “Bessy. I love you with all my heart and am the happiest man alive now that I get to call you my wife.”

I saw Bessy blow him a kiss and grinned.

“Things are probably going to be crazy for a while yet so we just want to say that we love you all and are grateful for the support.” Sal said from next to Joe, holding his beer up in thanks.

Murr grinned and took a swig of his beer before gesturing out to us all. “Let’s see how far we can go. We are doing this for all of you and are grateful every single day to have you around us.”

I saw Brian put his arm around Murr as we all cheered and hollered, proud beyond belief of the 4 guys we were lucky enough to call family.

“These last few weeks have been amazing.” Brian said from next to him, his gaze all of a sudden coming to focus on me. “I know that you have all gathered that me and Ash are back together and I couldn’t be happier.”

All of a sudden he stepped off the patio and he started to walk towards me slowly, everyone in the garden now watching his every move.

“This last year was pretty bad for me and I am never going to let you go again.” He said, now speaking directly to me. “I love you so much, I always have Ash and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

As he came to stand in front of me he got down onto one knee and pulled a small blue covered ring box out of his pocket and I heard a collective gasp go up from everyone around us. 

My eyes filled with tears and everything faded away until all I could see was him, down on one knee looking up at me, his eyes filled with love.

“We were meant to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you all those years ago.” He said as he opened the box and revealed the ring to me. I looked at it briefly but couldn’t keep my eyes from his. “I loved you from that very first day and I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for your love and support.”

“Brian…” I whispered, reaching down to clasp his other hand.

“My love for you grows every single day and I can’t think of anything that would make me happier than getting to spend the rest of my life with you.” He went on, his eyes now filling with tears. “So Ashley, in front of our family, I am asking you to do me the great honour of becoming my wife and letting me show you every day how much I love you.”

My heart was pounding as I looked at him kneeling in front of me, looking up at me expectantly. Almost imperceptibly I nodded before dropping to my knees and throwing my arms around him. 

“I love you so much.” I managed, between sobs. “Oh Brian, of course I will marry you.” 

With this he got to his feet and pulled me with him, pulling me into his arms so that my feet left the floor and he could swing me round. 

I heard cheering erupt around us as hands reached out to grab us and we were pulled into people’s arms as they congratulated us.

The first people to get to me were my brothers and my mom and I let myself be pulled into a warm embrace as I noticed that my mother was crying and my brothers were smiling widely.

“Darling I am so happy for you both.” She told us, tearing streaming down her cheeks. “I love you both so much.”

My brothers then pulled me into a giant hug before passing me to Brian’s family, then the guys and everyone else until finally I felt Brian pick me up again and squeeze me so tight that I struggled to breath.

“Can I see the ring now?” I asked excitedly, as he put me back down on my feet.

He opened the box up and held it up for me to see and I realised that it was a ring that had been in his family for years. 

It was simple yet stunning and I saw as he slid it onto my finger that it fit perfectly. I held my hand up to examine it and saw the light catch it so that it sparkled.

“Brian it is so beautiful.” I whispered. 

“So are you.” He replied, pulling me close so that his lips pressed against mine. 

As his lips met mine I knew that this was it for us. Happily ever afters did exist…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!
> 
> I'm struggling for ideas at this point but love writing so if anyone has any requests then drop me a comment or even an email at quixotic-dreamer@outlook.com 
> 
> I would love to hear from you :)

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to try something different again. Hope y'all like it :)


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